Author Archives: MortarMark
January 9th, 2008

Teh Internetz Must. Be. Stopped.

Some days the Internet makes us want to go live in a shack in Montana and contemplate the end of the world. Today, for instance, we found out that a group of people are taking everyone’s favorite meme and goin’ Biblical. Yes, the LOLCats Bible. May God have mercy on our solez.

Ladeez and Jentalmenz, Noo Roolz – Teh Ten Commanders:

1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:


2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all

3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.

4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.

5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur children ded An ur children-children ded, for being stupid.6 If not I wuv u An all ur childrenz-childrenz-childrenz!

7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, for I dun liek it. Srsly.

8 Remembur caturday An keep holy.  9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K? 10 Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. 11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it – so I make it holy cuz I no werk.

12 Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief.

13 U no mek peepz ded!

14 U no mek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!).

15 U no tek stuffs for free if not getz for free.

16 U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor.

17 U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no animulz, NO BUKKITZ! NOT YOURS.

Cieling_cat_creates
Ceiling cat creates the universe and stuff – by bboyneko

January 7th, 2008

Frogs are a’croakin

Picture_1

Apparently frogs are having a rough time as of late. Treehugger points us to Amphibian Ark, an organization committed to saving, you guessed it, frogs. One third to one half of the world’s species of frogs are in danger of extinction, and thus Amphibian Ark has dubbed 2008 the "Year of the Frog." So, help save the frogs. And kudos to Amphibian Ark for having a cool-looking logo.

Frogsign

One last thought. If you find yourself driving in Marin, beware. You may find yourself unwittingly taking part in the mass genocide.

January 7th, 2008

Mortarons Make Most of Mondays

At the Mortar, we never fight the sun – not that there’s been much to fight lately, anyway – but we can still appreciate this gem from Monster:

Happy Monday!

January 3rd, 2008

Smartass SF Artist Makes a Funny

The following highbrow/lowbrow juxtaposition can be found right here in good ol’ San Francisco. At the Church Street MUNI station, to be exact:

Rimbaudrambo

On an interesting side note, the 19th century French poet died of cancer at age 37 – the same age as Stallone’s hair plugs.

Courtesy of /Film via Defamer via Towleroad

Whew! That’s a lot of links.

January 3rd, 2008

Geek Love

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Presenting The Galactically Hot Women Of Star Trek, The Original Series.

Regarding our spokesmodel, Wikipedia says:

"After Kirk (William Shatner) kisses Andrea (Sherry Jackson) the second time, the viewer can see that her lipstick is now all over Kirk’s lips and that her lips are swollen from the very rough kiss. The Sci-Fi Channel produced a series "Star Trek on Sci-Fi" in which anecdotes were discussed by TOS cast members and guest actors. In this episode’s production of that series Sherry Jackson reveals that the kiss was supposed to be a "screen" kiss, but William Shatner used full tongue and startled Jackson."

We are suddenly overcome with the urge to visit Priceline, if only to bask in Shatner-y goodness for a while. 

Meh. Urge over. We’ll just check out this brilliant photoset a while longer.

Enjoy.