Some days the Internet makes us want to go live in a shack in Montana and contemplate the end of the world. Today, for instance, we found out that a group of people are taking everyone’s favorite meme and goin’ Biblical. Yes, the LOLCats Bible. May God have mercy on our solez.

Ladeez and Jentalmenz, Noo Roolz – Teh Ten Commanders:

1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:


2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all


3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.

4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.

5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur children ded An ur children-children ded, for being stupid.6 If not I wuv u An all ur childrenz-childrenz-childrenz!

7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, for I dun liek it. Srsly.

8 Remembur caturday An keep holy.  9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K? 10 Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. 11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it – so I make it holy cuz I no werk.

12 Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief.

13 U no mek peepz ded!

14 U no mek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!).

15 U no tek stuffs for free if not getz for free.

16 U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor.

17 U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no animulz, NO BUKKITZ! NOT YOURS.

Ceiling cat creates the universe and stuff – by bboyneko