Are we broken up about Lucasfilm selling out to Disney? Or just jealous of George’s $4 billion retirement package? In either case, the artwork comes from our own Dan Youmans and Mark Lawson, who remind you to let the Wookiee win.

Whew! What a crazy wild whirlwind these last two weeks were. Jonny had an audition for Glee, a photo shoot in Bali, and dinner at Zooey Deschanel’s house. Our intern’s newfound popularity has got him so booked, we may need to hire another intern to do the stuff Lil’ Jonny used to do.

Now that life at Mortar has returned to some level of sanity, we finally have time to blog about how supremely successful the Save Jonny campaign was. We reached 500 followers in 6 days – 18 days before our target date. That’s like getting an A+ when you were sure you were headed for a D. And the numbers are still growing.

The press loved Jonny, proving we’re not the only ones who want to pinch those cheeks.

And it turns out that’s not all the press loves about us. Business Insider just named Mortar’s website one of the 13 most unforgettable sites in the industry.

Aww, shucks. You shouldn’t have. But we’re glad you did.

 

We’re always conversing about the Conversation here at Mortar – whether it’s TIME making our brilliant clients sound appropriately brilliant, or an anchorman pantsing a brand’s strategy in the high school hallway. So naturally, it struck our fancy when Ashley Judd decided to get all up in it.

The media’s rampant disparaging of female celebrities generally renders them helpless as a field mouse caught in a boa constrictor’s death grip. Though Judd says she typically turns the other cheek to what the world says about her – she doesn’t read any of her interviews with news outlets – her friends alerted her that this time they’d gone too far. So-called legitimate publications were attributing Judd’s recent puffy face to plastic surgery, instead of to steroid medication she needed to fight a month-long sickness.

It sucks, but you can’t control the conversation about yourself. What you can do is deliver an intelligent, pointed response that upholds your integrity, and exposes your attackers’ douchebaggery.

Judd opted for the latter, and pulled it off with surprising grace. Her rebuff is critical, yet respectful, and definitely worth a read – even if just to soak in Judd’s cunningly elegant phrasing and deft vernacular. (Ashley, if you’re ever looking for a new gig, we’d love to have you. Operators are standing by.)

Talk amongst yourselves.

 

 

AWOOOOOOOO! Happy Halloween! Normally, we’d be in full Elitist Coastal Snob Mode this time of year, as we generally consider Halloween  – along with its yokel buddies New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day – to be a charter member of the Unholy Trinity of Amateur-Hour Holidays. But you know what? The Giants have us in an incredibly good mood right now and not just because the wind’s blowing this way from McCovey Cove. So allow us to amaze you as we turn a random, hastily-penned scribble wide-ranging and articulate knowledge download into a focused, must-read marketing missive. You won’t believe your eyes.

Remember this?

Yikes. Here’s hoping Mr. Bateman doesn’t get too upset when he sees the new logo and business cards we just released for online ad exchange AdBrite.

 

“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it…”

See how we did that? One minute, Halloween. The next minute, Random Movie Reference. Then…BAM! Work Stuff.  Office magic, people. Annnnd scene.

Ok, now on to the Actual Scary Things:

WARNING: Watching This Video In Its Entirety May Cause Violent Diarrhea And/Or The Condition Known As “Death By Embarassment.”

We’re not kidding. We only made it through the first 0:48. Really. Seriously.
We are so not kidding.

Oops. They pulled it. To be fair, it was supposed to be for an internal talent show. (They have that kind of budget for internal talent shows? That kind of profligacy is…scary! Awooooooo!)

 

Quick, Scoob! L-l-let’s get out of here!

Ahhhh. That’s better. You can always depend on the classics.
Speaking of which, it’s time for…Mortar Halloween Jukebox – iMeem Went Out Of Business Because The Economy Is So Scary-Edition!

No audio jukebox this year. And not as many songs. But you do get video, so there’s that.

 

DAVID/MARK/TODD: “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” –  Bauhaus.

Remember this from The Hunger? We’re not sure which is scarier – the atmosphere of vampiric menace, or the 80’s hair. Either way….awesomely scary.

SOPHIE: “Two of Hearts” – Stacy Q

We know. We know. But stay with us. This hilarious-yet-creepy scene is from Party Monster, an underrated yet highly scary flick. We’ve got chills just thinking about it.

SERENE: “Ghostbusters” – Ray Parker, Jr.

Wait a minute. Something’s wrong. This is a song from the 80’s. And everyone knows Serene’s musical tastes are permanently stuck in the 90’s. Which means…that’s not the real Serene! And she’s calling from inside the house!

 

HUGH – is about to rip the rubber mask off of what is obviously Pirate-Ghost Serene. Will need to gather strength first. Fortunately, there is “The Crusher” – The Novas.

And finally, a little Halloween treat from our favorite non-sparkle-vampire, Count Floyd.

 

Owooooo! Have fun out there. And GO GIANTS!!!