Category: Music
March 22nd, 2013

Unexpected Solar Eclipse? Or Eat24 and Snoop Lion’s Giant, Billowing Cloud Of Awesome?

What’s going on? Is this a giant, unexpected solar eclipse? Were the Mayans right after all? Oh. No. Wait. It’s just Eat24’s giant cojones, blocking out the sun. Taking the D.I.Y. ethos to new heights, they just decided to show up at SXSW with a giant bag of weed and a camera and oh, hey, is that Snoop Lion? Yes. Yes it is.


Snoop gets familiar with the Eat24 App. And guess who is now the Official Sponsor of Snoop’s (quite likely prodigious) Munchies? It’s perhaps the greatest product demonstration since the old Master Lock ad from the 1970’s. Well done.

December 20th, 2012

Santa Fought the Law, and the Law Won.

O, December! Why dost thou torment us so? What purports to be a month-long birthday party for Jesus always ends up feeling more like a torture round in Hell. The hair-pulling boxing matches at the mall that remind us we should have started our holiday shopping in June. The awkward company parties that bring out the best and the worst of our homespun dance moves. (Not that we know anything about that.)

Our client Manatt knows the pain we’re describing – maybe a little too well. Law firms have their own special holiday joys to tend to, from closing monolithic deals to filing an intimidating number of 10Q’s before the year’s end. Our holiday card for them aims to capture the perplexing mix of festivity and frenzy that defines December. Our client identified with it so much that they penned many of the song’s lyrics themselves.

Strap on your headphones, and don’t be afraid to sing along. The whole world is screaming humming along with you.


May 11th, 2012

Googly Eyes.

We love a good surprise. Especially ones that puts us in the same hemisphere as hobbits. Check what happens when you ask for walking directions from “The Shire” to “Mordor” in Google Maps:


Lord of the Rings fans will share in our gigglish glee. We admit, those Googlers can get preet-ty clever. But sometimes, the joke’s on them. Someone with far too much time on his hands found a way to turn Google Translate into a beatbox machine. Perfect way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Remember: One does not simply walk into Mortar.

August 5th, 2011

The one-man show you need to know.

Back in 2009, we knew Reggie Watts was headed for stardom. A year and a half later, dude done blown up. He toured with Conan O’Brien, made a music video in which he manages to rap about gerunds and expletives in the same breath, and now he’s coming to the Independent in San Francisco on August 17. We’re not sure whether to call him a musician, comedian, actor, or circus entertainer. Whatever he is, he’s one of those Things You Must Know About. Just watch.



Believe it or not, he’s improvising. The man is a truckload of talent wrapped up in a giant teddy bear suit. If you’re local, don’t miss the chance to experience this 10-pound-fro-banging mythical creature in action.

October 29th, 2010

2010 Mortarblog Halloween Spooktacular

AWOOOOOOOO! Happy Halloween! Normally, we’d be in full Elitist Coastal Snob Mode this time of year, as we generally consider Halloween  – along with its yokel buddies New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day – to be a charter member of the Unholy Trinity of Amateur-Hour Holidays. But you know what? The Giants have us in an incredibly good mood right now and not just because the wind’s blowing this way from McCovey Cove. So allow us to amaze you as we turn a random, hastily-penned scribble wide-ranging and articulate knowledge download into a focused, must-read marketing missive. You won’t believe your eyes.

Remember this?

Yikes. Here’s hoping Mr. Bateman doesn’t get too upset when he sees the new logo and business cards we just released for online ad exchange AdBrite.



“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it…”

See how we did that? One minute, Halloween. The next minute, Random Movie Reference. Then…BAM! Work Stuff.  Office magic, people. Annnnd scene.

Ok, now on to the Actual Scary Things:

WARNING: Watching This Video In Its Entirety May Cause Violent Diarrhea And/Or The Condition Known As “Death By Embarassment.”

We’re not kidding. We only made it through the first 0:48. Really. Seriously.
We are so not kidding.

Oops. They pulled it. To be fair, it was supposed to be for an internal talent show. (They have that kind of budget for internal talent shows? That kind of profligacy is…scary! Awooooooo!)


Quick, Scoob! L-l-let’s get out of here!

Ahhhh. That’s better. You can always depend on the classics.
Speaking of which, it’s time for…Mortar Halloween Jukebox – iMeem Went Out Of Business Because The Economy Is So Scary-Edition!

No audio jukebox this year. And not as many songs. But you do get video, so there’s that.


DAVID/MARK/TODD: “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” –  Bauhaus.

Remember this from The Hunger? We’re not sure which is scarier – the atmosphere of vampiric menace, or the 80’s hair. Either way….awesomely scary.

SOPHIE: “Two of Hearts” – Stacy Q

We know. We know. But stay with us. This hilarious-yet-creepy scene is from Party Monster, an underrated yet highly scary flick. We’ve got chills just thinking about it.

SERENE: “Ghostbusters” – Ray Parker, Jr.

Wait a minute. Something’s wrong. This is a song from the 80’s. And everyone knows Serene’s musical tastes are permanently stuck in the 90’s. Which means…that’s not the real Serene! And she’s calling from inside the house!


HUGH – is about to rip the rubber mask off of what is obviously Pirate-Ghost Serene. Will need to gather strength first. Fortunately, there is “The Crusher” – The Novas.

And finally, a little Halloween treat from our favorite non-sparkle-vampire, Count Floyd.


Owooooo! Have fun out there. And GO GIANTS!!!