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Category: Marketing Insights
August 22nd, 2012
Ever heard that saying: “It’s not the size of the dog in the incredibly bizarre-yet-awesome fight, it’s the amount of incredibly bizarre-yet-awesome in the dog?”
Probably not, because we just made it up.
But the point is this: If your budget is smaller than the other guy’s, you’d better make more interesting conversation. Not just some of the time. All of the time. If you give up? If you try to sound cool in your advertising, but the rest of your customers’ interactions with you are robotic and money-grubbing? The effect is this: Your customer is at a party, chatting up an attractive someone, the happy couple steps outside for some air, and suddenly that quiet-yet-fascinating discussion of Epictetus becomes GOOD DAY SIR-OR-MADAM CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN LOW-LOW ZERO-DOWN-WITH-APPROVED-CREDIT CASH-BACK FINANCING?
Which is painful and weird. As opposed to good-weird. Good-weird is more like this:
*So, wait. We have to come up with some clever Fine Print? It’s closing in on feeding time and we’re having a hard time thinking good. Wait, good? Or is it well? We can’t remember no grammar now cuz food hunger is taking over part of body that word ideas come from. Oh look at cat! Cat is pretty. Want food, but can’t get until Fine Print is over. OK: You have to be an Eat24 member to use the $3 Coupon Code. If you’re not a member you can sign up in seconds. Also you can only use it at restaurants that accept Coupon Codes (but don’t worry, there are over 20,000 of them) and you must pay with a Credit card or PayPal. Also, don’t try to pull a fast one and just order chips and salsa. C’mon, they give that away for free at restaurants. Be a man (or a woah-man) and order a damn burrito. Any order of $10 or more will do, because that’s the order minimum. Finally, the Coupon Code can only be used once and will expire the 19th of August at Midnight PST. Good job, brain. Now shut up until food gets here. (Our brain, not your brain. Your brain can talk all it wants because we love the sound of your voice. It’s like a combination of Barry White and a thousand kittens purring).”
That’s a sample of fine print from an Eat24 email coupon. Fine print. From an email coupon.
Fine print from an email coupon that mentions Barry White and a thousand kittens purring.
Why doesn’t all fine print mention Barry White and a thousand kittens purring? Wouldn’t you read more fine print if it had more stuff like that? (Did we just answer our own question?) Let’s take things one step further: If Eat24 is going to put goodness like Barry White and a thousand kittens purring in the fine print, they must want you to read the fine print, right? But that’s weird because fine print is the marketing communications equivalent of the swamps of Jersey, right? It’s where the bodies are buried, right? But if Eat24 wants readers to read it, that must mean Eat24 is lovable on the inside, too! You know what else it means? It means you should read everything Eat24 sends you, because who knows, in the middle of their legalese they might start rambling about Barry White and purring kittens. This is science, people. This is irrefutable fact.
And what did this little exercise in Always Sounding Like Us cost? Zero. Pain-and-suffering incurred? None. Love-beyond-reason engendered? Plenty.
Now.
This is a picture of a rainbow having a nicotine fit. It has almost nothing to do with our conversation except, it’s random and fun. It made your day a little better. (That rainbow smokes too much and just throws the butts wherever. Rude.)
Which brings us to this:
Also random. Also fun. Also makes your day a little better. Even if it doesn’t really have a purpose. Even if it doesn’t really tell your fortune. And you know what? That cookie is stomping the terra firma. Likes. Shares. Retweets. Calls from our mothers. (Which we should probably return. Eeesh. We’re bad people. But we digress.)
It’s just a simple little conversational piece, appearing in a slightly unexpected place. Which is so Eat24. That’s their voice. Not some of the time. All of the time. Their customers love it. They expect it. They participate in it. And that’s why Eat24 is able to generate love beyond reason. That’s the bizarre that puts the awesome in their dog. That’s how a little startup with no VC funding is able to scare the hell out of the big boys. Because an intelligent conversation has the power to generate greater sales, more economically achieved.
Which is the reason we got into this business.
We do what we do the way we do it because we believe this in our bones: It does not require more money, or more meetings, or more buzzwords to sell well. It requires common sense, good manners and a sense of humor. It requires convincing your audience that you do what you do because you love doing it, not because you love money.
So while Eat24’s bigger, more well-funded competitors are quite likely sitting in a meeting, staring at a 120-slide PowerPoint detailing last week’s trendlines, Eat24 is having human conversations with their customers. Also, a freakin’ blast. Speaking of which – Mortar is proud to present “Food Truck In Your Pants,” the first of a whole slew of new Eat24 broadcast spots, breaking now.
http://youtu.be/WNzIHaDImNE
It’s like we always* say: It’s not the size of the dog in the incredibly bizarre-yet-awesome fight, it’s the amount of incredibly bizarre-yet-awesome in the dog. But tell us what you think. After all, this is a conversation.
P.S. If you don’t live in Los Angeles and you’d like to see this and many other fine new Mortar-produced Eat24 spots on your tee-vee, let ’em know via Twitter @Eat24.
*At least since 11:30 this morning.
August 21st, 2012
Hey, you know what’s exciting? Narrow, hair-raising escapes.
“Most impressive, Mr. Bond. Most impressive.”
You know what’s not exciting?
Talking about features. Unless your feature is a surfing cat or a laser cannon or a surfing cat with a laser cannon, most people won’t care about whatever whizbang you’re trying to sell. Unless you’re Eat24 and your brand = Random and Funny. Then everybody cares about what you have to say, if only because they like the way you say it.
Which brings us to “Restraining Order” and “Solve For Pi,” the second and third entries in our new campaign:
http://youtu.be/j1ts8wnMbH0?hd=1
http://youtu.be/HJZc7gBitAo?hd=1
Were those fleeting seconds of goodness enough for you to fully-understand-and-internalize Eat24 Notes or Split The Check? Probably not. Are you now somewhat more likely to go check these wonderful features out? (OK, after you stop watching the surfing cat. We know it’s mesmerizing.)
June 22nd, 2012
We get a little verklempt when we see brands managing conversations intelligently. They grow up so fast!
Listen to your customers? Check.
Respond in an Actual, Human Voice? Check.
Gently bip your critics upside the head while promoting product benefits? Chiggidy-check.
Very nicely done, SmartCar.
Let’s see how our young padawans at Eat24 are coming along…
Strong in this one, the Force is. See more, we should.
Thanks, P.J. Did you mean this laziness? The one that’s airing all over Comcast San Francisco right now?
http://youtu.be/5nEVwAtdqkk?hd=1
Ohhhh, sorry. You meant this laziness. (That’s airing all over Comcast San Francisco right now.)
http://youtu.be/GifWmtTzk2I?hd=1
Unless you meant this laziness. (Which is also airing all over the You-Get-The-Idea right now.)
http://youtu.be/-80pATlUH4Y?hd=1
So, yes. We’re proud of our clients. Proud when they demonstrate their Conversation-fu. Proud when they put the tools we give them to good use. Proud when they remember that underwear goes on the inside of their pants.
And proud when they think up great ideas like this:
Which reminds us – Eat24’s app is live. De-bugged. And delicious. Happy Friday!
February 24th, 2012
“You think you know Wheat Thins? F*%k you.“
Prepare yourself to fall completely in love with – then back out of love with – then be sort of ok again with – a brand, all in the space of 6:50.
Yes, we posted this because it’s funny.
Yes, we posted this because it reminds us just how ridiculous we all are in our attempts to turn the art of conversation into the “science” of marketing.
But most of all, we posted this because it reminds us of Kurt Vonnegut’s asshole.
No, not his actual asshole, but the big ol’ asterisk he drew in Breakfast of Champions that represented an asshole. Right in the middle of the page. Just drew that thing. In the middle of a non-illustrated novel.
Which is, as we’ve noted before, A Thing You Cannot Do. But he did.
Stephen Colbert’s sponsortunity/takedown/whatthehelljusthappened routine certainly shows us how ridiculous megacorporate brand strategists can be, but more importantly, it lifts the curtain on strategy itself. Which is a bona-fide asterisk-in-the-middle-of-the-page-moment.
You can’t do that, right? You can’t just tell people your brand strategy…they might…they might discover that crackers are not in fact baked by tree-dwelling elves, but that they come from giant megacorporations who want their money! Gasp!
Here’s another example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvYP_d2S1Pg
This Old Spice ad starts out as a Bounce ad; becomes an Old Spice ad, then a Bounce ad again and finally, we get a strong powerful Old Spice finish.
Again, you can’t do that! You just spent half your expensive media time plugging a brand you didn’t mean to plug! Unless…unless you’re a megacorporation who happens to own both brands. But even then, aren’t you outing yourself as a megacorporation? Won’t the people rise up with pitchforks and torches?
And since you’re a megacorporation, aren’t you supposed to be acting like mega-tools? Like the people who wrote that Wheat Thins memo?
So, gentle readers, we ask you: How are we supposed to feel about this? Megacorporations drawing asterisks? It’s unnatural, we tells ya! And since megacorporations love nothing more than blindly following one another, is it reasonable to expect more of this?
We sure hope so.
February 24th, 2012
 “Dolla-dolla bill, y’all.”
What is wrong with you people?! Do you not recognize a Presidential-level haircut
when you see one? Just look at it! The salt-and-pepper sideburns! The strong jawline!
The erect posture! Shouldn’t looking that much like a President count for something,
America? Huh? Come on! OK…Perhaps not.
All politics aside, Mitt’s $12 million-and-counting Windows Vista launch of a primary
campaign proves what Mortar has been saying all along – big ideas beat big budgets
every time.
But it wasn’t always this way. There was once a Romney who Americans
loved didn’t want to repeatedly punch. We’re speaking about Mitt’s father George, the
former Governor of Michigan, presidential candidate, and not-complete-tool.
We are not, however, speaking about him very eloquently.
We’ll leave that to TIME Magazine, which recently interviewed Mortar client and
Golden Gate University President Dan Angel.
See, In 1964, when the elder Romney was running for re-election as Governor, an
intrepid young writer by the name of Dan Angel received permission to become a
participant observer in the campaign and write a biography from a remarkably up-close
and in-depth perspective. Over three years, he continued his research, which included
hours of time and multiple interviews with George, as well as his family and friends.
Angel also landed the rare opportunity to interview former president Dwight Eisenhower
at his Gettysburg farm. The book, Romney, A Political Biography, was published in 1967
and provides a full account of George’s professional and political life.
Like Mitt Romney, Dan Angel was born in Detroit. Unlike Romney, Dan is actually
popular in Michigan, serving three terms in the Michigan State Legislature before
embarking on a career as a college professor, and then as President of Marshall University,
Stephen F. Austin University, and other nationally known colleges.
Fast forward to 2012, and Dan Angel is now Dr. Dan Angel, President of Golden Gate University.
And Mortar is GGU’s PR agency.
And Mortar PR knows that local and national media appreciate an expert who can offer insight into a candidate’s history and influences. (We also know more than a few writers’ phone numbers.)
Which is why Dr. Angel has been interviewed and published in the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times as well as TIME. It’s also why the media repeatedly turn to GGU when they’re looking for intelligent opinions from experts. And that, in turn, is why students know they can turn to GGU when they want to become experts.
The Mortar PR team remains busy lining up additional interviews, and possibly some
on-site events.
Dr. Angel remains an expert.
As for Candidate Romney? It remains to be seen.
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