There’s a rumor going ‘round that Hollie Garcia, Senior Graphic Designer at Mortar, used makeup to transform her co-workers into zombies, and that Friday’s zombie outbreak at 25 Maiden Lane was staged. We’d like to clarify that this rumor is false. We saw those flesh-eaters with our own eyes and THEY WERE 100% REAL, BABY.

Only REAL zombies can do the Gangnam Style. 

We understand, however, why such a rumor got started. Hollie does know how to do some scary realistic makeup effects. It’s just one of the many skills she’s picked up over the years.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Five vagrant zombies were sighted last Friday around 3:15 p.m. on Maiden Lane, near San Francisco’s Union Square. An eyewitness named Phil (the bartender at Otis) reported hearing a series of bone-chilling screams, immediately followed by Mortar employees bolting out of the building like their lives depended on it. Probably because they did.

“It was crazy,” said Phil. “I mean, I’ve had drinks with Scott, and he’s usually a really calm dude. I didn’t think he could shriek like a 10-year-old girl at an N Sync reunion concert.”

Licensed zombie-ologists are still investigating where the undead visitors may have originated from. However, past research has shown that zombies are drawn to especially old buildings, and 25 Maiden Lane is on San Francisco’s Historic Register. Mark Williams, managing partner and co-founder of Mortar, contends the pseudo-humans were after the abnormally large brains of Mortar’s employees, a hypothesis his colleagues widely support.

While no news crews made it to the scene in time, we did secure this footage captured by a group of Norwegian tourists:

Mortar’s office was mercilessly ravaged by the pale-faced monsters, leaving it uninhabitable. However, thanks to the wonder of small agency efficiency, the company managed to find a new home over the weekend. Mortar’s new residence is 2 Bryant Street, Suite 210, in San Francisco’s SOMA neighborhood – located across from Red’s Java House and Pier 22 1/2 (zipcode 94105 for those who plan to send love letters). The move comes at an oddly convenient time, since the agency had outgrown its space and was dangerously close to installing bunk-desks.

No Mortar employees were seriously injured in the event, and all are reported to be in stable condition. Allyson Stinchfield, Director of PR and Social Media, did receive a dollop of zombie spit-up in her eye upon asking one of the flesh-eaters if he was Moby.

We like ads that make you think. Ads that don’t blare their message at you through a megaphone. Ads that inspire you to support a cause that was barely on your radar yesterday.

This new campaign from Dentsu Shanghai checks all of the above boxes. The idea is so powerfully simple, you don’t even need to understand the Chinese in the corner (but if you can read it, we wouldn’t mind a hint). We love that each ad tells a story through a single image that’s at once understated and cataclysmic. We will also promptly be returning the polar bear rug we recently purchased for our office lobby. (Just kidding. Too soon?)

The sophisticated-meets-cheeky, political cartoony illustrations hit the nail on the head, magnifying the idiocy of the hunter, and of the entire situation itself.

It’s like JT used to say: What goes around comes back to bite you in the delicate hiney region.

What’s your take on the campaign? (That comments section down there isn’t going to populate itself.)

Via Ads of the World.

Thank you to all who took our survey last month. We’re tickled to learn that some of you actually read (and even enjoy) the crap we write. You gave us some great feedback and ideas, and we’re gonna do our darnedest to incorporate them as we gallop down this golden, blogpost-covered road.

Massive congratulations to Deanna Flores, winner of the $50 Amazon gift card. We can’t wait to see what she buys with it. 25 chip clips? A gently used Chewbacca costume? The possibilities are, in a word, endless.