Author Archives: MortarMark
November 16th, 2006

The Final Frontier. Brought to you by KFC.

Kfc

Following similar efforts by Maxim, Micheal Castleon reports that the KFC logo is one of the first to be seen from space. One can imagine the intersellar reaction….

KANG: "Soon, Kodos! Soon, the inhabitants of this pathetic little planet will bow before us! Mwahahahaha!"

KODOS: "Yes, Kang. Your plan has worked out brilliantly. They puny humans will never…hey! What’s that!"

KANG: "It appears to be…a face! I think the humans are trying to send us a message!"

KODOS: "Perhaps they are more advanced then we thought. Obviously, this is their leader. An older, Southern gentleman, wearing a quaint string tie."

KANG: "And what’s all this about a "secret recipe?" I don’t like it. I don’t like this at all. I fear a trap."

KODOS: "As do I! And yet…I’m exhibiting a strange craving for Boneless Honey-Barbecue Colonel’s Strips."

KANG: "I too, feel this craving. We must be strong, Kodos! I totally just joined a gym!"

KODOS: "But, you’re not fat!"

KANG: "You’re just saying that. Much like our home planet of Rigel-7, I have my own twin moons. Oh, and obliterate the humans."

KODOS: "As you wish."


Read Michael Castellon’s full story.

November 14th, 2006

As a matter of fact, the carpet does match the drapes.

In an infamous episode of Sex in the City, Kim Cattrall’s character, Samantha, discovers a grey hair…down there. After being told that plucking each individual hair actually causes the grey to spread, she attempts to dye it. Instead of getting “the carpeting to match the drapes” so to speak, Samantha ends up looking more like she’s giving birth to a tiny clown.

BettyBeauty

Now, fast-forward to Betty Beauty owner Nancy Jarecki sitting in a Rome salon: “As I saw women leaving the salon, I couldn’t help noticing that some would linger by the door. After a few minutes, their colorist would come back with a little paper bag, hand it to them, and send them cheerfully on their way. When I inquired about this mysterious ritual, the receptionist said, “Per sotto, per farli combaciare,” meaning  “For the hair down there…to make it match.” I thought, “How genius!” 

Betty Beauty recently launched a new product specifically formulated for “the hair down there”. These pubic-hair-dying kits are being marketed with great names like: BROWNBetty, FUNBetty (in hot pink), BLONDEBetty, AUBURNBetty and BLACKBetty. Check the entire line out at www.bettybeauty.com or in select salons.

Last week, Betty Beauty’s website was on pace last week for 2 million annual visits, running well ahead of Procter & Gamble Co.’s Clairol.com and climbing toward that of L’Oreal’s website.

Colorarci ha impressionati!

November 10th, 2006

Lookout Bono here comes Bank of America

Who says bankers are stuffy? This should have been their entire launch campaign.

This may take a while to load but it’s well worth the laugh

November 9th, 2006

Engaging (addictive) cheer

Starbucks110906_big

Progressive actions go along way with consumers. Companies must stand for more than a place for people to work and making some money. Lifting your brand to a cause, something for people to look to or feel proud to be a part of, can pay off well in the end. Some companies set up foundations; some just simply contribute money to a worthwhile charity of choice. Some can get creative about it…

Starbucks has launched a new campaign for their holiday blends. In the true spirt of the holidays, instead of spending budget toward bus shelters or billboards, Starbucks is giving out thousands of sweet gestures (in NY its MetroCards, Chicago gets free movie passes, etc) along with numbered pay-it-foward cards. As people recieve they can log when and where they got the card then give it again. Individuals can track how far and wide their gesture ventures. Check it out – half social experiment and half buzz campaign!!

www.itsredagain.com

http://www.cheerpass.com/

November 8th, 2006

Nick Touts Dick As Key Metric

Google and YouTube have enjoyed the success of becoming part of the vernacular of American culture. For advertising spots and campaigns similar success metrics are evident when celebs, comedians, or in this case Andy Dick are found doing spoofs of your ad. Kudos to Gap for finding relevance and creating an interest within its market.