Author Archives: MortarMark
February 27th, 2007

Billion Dollar Bong Blogging

Jesus_coming_hide_bong_large

Yeah, we thought that would get your attention.

Last year, Pfizer spent $1.4 billion on Exubera, an inhaled insulin product that users are supposed to do, well, bong hits of.

It ain’t selling.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude!
First off, if somebody gave us $1.4 billion to design a bong, it would totally have come with a recliner with built-in subwoofer. At least one.

Second off, please please please, somebody pay us $1.4 billion to design a bong!

Ahem. Sorry. Wait. What were we talking about?
Oh yeah.

Second off, let’s work on product design a bit, kids. Here’s a comment from Café Pharma, the industry’s online bulletin board: “Look at the size of the bong! Who the fuck wants to carry something so damn big that it doesn’t even fit in a pocket[?]” Indeed. Even in our hippie days, nobody just walked around carrying a bong. That’s what God gave us soda cans for. Duh.  But we digress. Again. Wait. What? Oh yeah.

Here’s the funny/valuable part: Pfizer got in this mess by “relying on consumer research data that has turned out to be faulty in the real world.”   Ya think!?
Are you guys seeing a bunch of stoner college kids going “Dude! You should make it a bong!” then spending their $150 focus group honorariums on fat sacks of Blueberry Romulan?
Us, too.
But seriously, there is a demand for inhaled insulin. Nobody likes needles. Get the product design right, Pfizer, and you’re on to something. Just make sure you take your focus group info with a grain of common sense next time.

P.S. We picked this (very funny) article up from our buds at Brandweek. Who knew they had it in ’em? When you’re not reading the MortarBlog, check ’em out. Beats working.

Is anybody else hungry?

February 24th, 2007

Starbucks losing focus: Schultz writes a letter.

Starbucks visionary Howard Schultz is concerned the international coffee store behemoth is losing focus and commoditizing its own product.

"In a blunt Feb. 14 memo, he warned executives that the chain may be commoditizing its brand and making itself more vulnerable to competition from other coffee shops and fast-food chains. The nearly 800-word memo questioned whether Starbucks’ automatic espresso machines, new store designs and elimination of some in-store coffee grinding may have compromised the "romance and theatre" of a visit.

The criticisms pinpoint Starbucks’ biggest challenge. Mr. Schultz, the company’s resident visionary, wants Starbucks to become one of the world’s most recognized brands, with 40,000 locations around the globe, or more than triple its current count of about 13,000. But to do that, Starbucks must improve its efficiencies and make other changes that threaten to erode the virtues that made it so successful — which in turn could jeopardize its ability to charge premium prices.

"Over the past ten years, in order to achieve the growth, development, and scale necessary to go from less than 1,000 stores to 13,000 stores and beyond, we have had to make a series of decisions that, in retrospect, have lead [sic] to the watering down of the Starbucks experience, and, what some might call the commoditization of our brand," Mr. Schultz wrote in the memo."

Read the rest of the story here.

February 23rd, 2007

Urban Spam

Screenshot_34 Love the post "Urban Spam" talking about Lazer Graffiti check out this video on Break.com.

And here is a snippet from the post at Coolz0r – Marketing Thoughts:

"Okay.
On the one hand this is super cool because it hasn’t been used that
much yet. On the other hand, if too much people start to do this, it
might become irritating… This is an example of that ‘beyond’. It’s an art
project, but it can easily find it’s way into the marketing and
advertising landscape. It’s not the same as the beamvertising campaign
we’ve seen earlier for Sportlife, where the images of a moving
skateboarder were projected on shopfronts and outer walls of houses in
several big cities in The Netherlands. This is ‘Laser Advertising’.
It’s alike, but not the same thing."

February 20th, 2007

I am woman, see me age and spend

Follow up to my post about Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty a few months back… here is a snippet from an interesting article discussing why the campaign is resonating with women, written by Marti Barletta, author of the book PrimeTime Women: How to Win the Hearts, Minds, and Business of Boomer Big Spenders.

These PrimeTime Women are not in denial about how old they are or
what they look like. They accept their age, actually relish it, and
can’t wait to see what the second half of life brings them. Many say
you couldn’t pay them to be 20 again! Studies have shown that women in
their 50s and 60s report these as the happiest decades of life. As one
of our respondents exclaimed, "I love being 50; I love this time in my
life. I don’t think, ‘oh God, I’m getting old.’ I look in the mirror
and see wrinkles and I’m okay with it."

Contrary to popular opinion, Boomer women aren’t in denial about
aging. Advertisers are.
And the women they’re supposed to be trying to
connect with are getting annoyed. One respondent said: "I really resent
the notion that you can’t grow old comfortably. You must NOT have
wrinkles. The truth is, they are a natural part of aging."

Dove totally "gets" this PrimeTime Woman. And the real story behind
the success of this latest iteration of the Campaign for Real Beauty
lies in the principle that this woman is comfortable in her own skin.
Being herself feels better than being seen as perfect. Authenticity
trumps aspiration.

Marti also gives some simple yet clear marketing advice in her article:

Marketers, take note: This is the dawning of the age of PrimeTime
Women.
They are the healthiest, wealthiest, most active, educated, and
influential generation of women in history.

Marketers are always looking for a "magic" answer. For once, they
just may have one… with their huge numbers, rapid growth, and
incredible spending power, PrimeTime Women may well be the "silver
bullet" marketers are looking for.

Read the full article: The Real Story Behind the Success of Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty courtesy of MarketingProfs.

 

February 15th, 2007

Thanks, But No Thanks.

For some reason, AdCritic decided to give us “credit” for the Bud Light “Great Apes” Super Bowl spot. While we’re flattered that everyone thinks we ran a Super Bowl spot this year, we, um…didn’t. And if we had, it would have gone a little something like this:

FADE IN: EXT. ZOO, DAY.
TWO SUPER-INTELLIGENT GORILLAS HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.

GORILLA #1: “I’ve been working on this plan for three years. The same Bud Light delivery guy goes by every Thursday at the same time…”

GORILLA #2: “Wait, wait, wait. We’re super-intelligent gorillas. We can read, write, and talk. Bobo has had an investment blog for two years!”

CUT AWAY TO BOBO, POUNDING ON A LAPTOP.

GORILLA #1: “So what are you saying?”

GORILLA #2: “For one thing, why don’t we just ask for a beer. And for another…Bud Light!? You’re a highly-evolved mammal! That’s the best you could think of?”

GORILLA #1: “Sorry…”

GORILLA #2 : “Maybe we’re not all that super-intelligent. Geez.”

BOBO: "I wasn’t going to say anything…"

CUT TO: TITLE CARD.

TITLE CARD: Heineken. It’s about the beer.

FADE OUT.