Feb. 27th, 2007

Billion Dollar Bong Blogging


Yeah, we thought that would get your attention.

Last year, Pfizer spent $1.4 billion on Exubera, an inhaled insulin product that users are supposed to do, well, bong hits of.

It ain’t selling.

First off, if somebody gave us $1.4 billion to design a bong, it would totally have come with a recliner with built-in subwoofer. At least one.

Second off, please please please, somebody pay us $1.4 billion to design a bong!

Ahem. Sorry. Wait. What were we talking about?
Oh yeah.

Second off, let’s work on product design a bit, kids. Here’s a comment from Café Pharma, the industry’s online bulletin board: “Look at the size of the bong! Who the fuck wants to carry something so damn big that it doesn’t even fit in a pocket[?]” Indeed. Even in our hippie days, nobody just walked around carrying a bong. That’s what God gave us soda cans for. Duh.  But we digress. Again. Wait. What? Oh yeah.

Here’s the funny/valuable part: Pfizer got in this mess by “relying on consumer research data that has turned out to be faulty in the real world.”   Ya think!?
Are you guys seeing a bunch of stoner college kids going “Dude! You should make it a bong!” then spending their $150 focus group honorariums on fat sacks of Blueberry Romulan?
Us, too.
But seriously, there is a demand for inhaled insulin. Nobody likes needles. Get the product design right, Pfizer, and you’re on to something. Just make sure you take your focus group info with a grain of common sense next time.

P.S. We picked this (very funny) article up from our buds at Brandweek. Who knew they had it in ’em? When you’re not reading the MortarBlog, check ’em out. Beats working.

Is anybody else hungry?

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