Tag Archives: Jalopnik

January 20th, 2011

Long Copy For A Long Car.

Jalopnik.com screen capture 2011-1-20-11-41-43


We did not wake up this morning wanting to buy a limo. But if we had, this fine Lincoln for just $1,500 would certainly be tempting. Particularly when we read the amazing copy in this Craigslist ad we saw on Jalopnik. Highlights below.

"This is a 1985 Lincoln Town Car St. Tropez edition limousine. It was built by American Custom Coach has about a 60" stretch and has a dual bench interior configuration…The interior is an appropriate red velvet and could use some refurbishing as unspeakable things have more-than-likely taken place over the interior's 25 years in the biz…The car was recently given a custom exhaust system that exits from corvette tips right behind the front wheels, giving the beast a bark to match its bite. Based on the exhaust system alone the car gets attention; however, should passersby be hearing impaired the custom paint job does the trick.

The exterior is a four piece ode to Americana. The top is a period (1980's) appropriate zebra stripe that beckons "I'm Here to Party" in a primal yet classy manner. The sides represent the duality of modern life as fire and water in a kind of graffiti-chic way. On the hood you will find a fresh take on the classic american phoenix or fire bird with a matte black background that sends an important message to would be communists, terrorists or illegal immigrants foolish enough to be in front of you. That message is, "This is America, Get the Fuck out of my way!" As you approach the rear of the vehicle you are whisked into another universe as you peer into an eery space-scape that typifies the mystery associated with the final frontier. Overall the art on the car gives the audience a taste of the warm apple pie that is America, plus it looks totally bad-ass.

This car is quite the value in this day and age. With the purchase of this vehicle you get: priceless artwork, the ability to carry up to 8 people in style and comfort, and most importantly admission into the elite class of limo owners. This car redefines social mobility (see what I did there with the double entendre) All I ask in return for this car is 1500 dollars but I will entertain any trades or offers not from Nigerian princes."


Burning Man-types, we think you'll agree – this car was born for the playa.
Make it happen. (But stop by the Mortar first.)





January 6th, 2010



"Avast, me hearties! We be plunderin' a treasure trove of sensible Korean cars! With a 10 year/10,000 mile powertrain limited warranty*!"

So we were fooling around doing brand research over at Jalopnik when we discovered this story about Somali pirates making off with a ship full of Hyundais. Like you, our first reaction was, "Hyundais? Pirates drive Hyundais?" Our second reaction was, "How many pirate jokes can we make?" (More on that in a minute.)

But what really put the wind in our sails was Hyundai PR flack Dan Bedore's Quick-Reaction Tweet:

"Even pirates seem to be switching to Hyundai." 

Running up your brand's colors in a bad situation? That be some fine P.R., fair and true.  (Our best wishes for the safe return of the crew.)

As for the rest of you scallywags, run out the guns and give us a broadside of seafarin' puntasticness in the Comments section. We'll get you started with one from a Jalopnik commenter:

"They thought the ship was filled with Honda Type …"Arrrrrrrrs""

On second thought…belay that…

*See yer scurvy dog of a dealer for limited warranty details.