You've met our new media critics, right? Good. Well, they're here to give you the rundown on the best of this year's Super Bowl ads. Let's do this.
MORTARBLOG: Ready, guys?
ADORABLE ORANGE KITTEN: "Weady."
LEE MARVIN: "I was born ready, punk."
MORTARBLOG: OK, first up, "Huluwood," starring Alec Baldwin for Hulu.com.
LEE MARVIN: ""An evil plot to destroy the world." Yeah. That's funny. You mushbrains keep riiiiight on laughing."
AOK: ""Mushy-mushy." I wike it. Keeps evwyone fwom knowing about my evil pwot for world."
MORTARBLOG: OK, so Hulu's a winner. Next up, Sobe, with "Lizard Lake."
LEE MARVIN: (stares angrily, jacks round into .45 automatic.)
AOK: (stares angrily, jacks round into adorable little .45 automatic)
MORTARBLOG: Wow. You guys really hated that one.
LEE MARVIN: "These better get better."
MORTARBLOG: We're probably not in the demographic. I'm sure it will sell a lot of…drink. (adjusts collar, wipes brow) Is it hot in here? OK, next up – some old friends for Cash4Gold.com
LEE MARVIN: "Hmm. I might know where a few gold teeth are…lying around. Not bad."
AOK: "Wecession sad."
MORTARBLOG: Amen to that, Kitten. Wecession sad indeed. Maybe some flowers will cheer us up. Let's take a look at this spot from Teleflora.
LEE MARVIN: "'The competition's flowers aren't just lame, they're destructive and evil.' Now that's a strategy you can do something with. I like it."
AOK: "WHO YOU CAWLIN 'FAT AND SMEWWY' PAL!? YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS!?"
LEE MARVIN: "Easy, kid. Easy. Too many witnesses."
MORTARBLOG: OK, split decision on that one. Kitten, I know you'll love this one, isn't this guy your cousin?
LEE MARVIN: "I usually only eat mescal worms or the still-beating hearts of my enemies, but I gotta say, I might have a side of Cheetos next time."
AOK: "Cousin Chester funny. Gwad he got out of wehab."
MORTARBLOG: OK, so we like the Cheetos. Speaking of old friends, let's take a look at the resolution of that Denny's spot we teased last week:
LEE MARVIN: "See? What did I tell you. Nice setup – weak resolution."
AOK: (curls up in chair, sleeps)
MORTARBLOG: Huh. No love for the pancakes. OK guys, two minutes in the fourth quarter, down by three…CareerBuilder:
LEE MARVIN: "Somebody called me "dummy" at work once. Once. Funny ad, though."
MORTARBLOG: Well there you go – five we liked, one we hated, and one we-told-you-so. Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers, and thanks to both of you. Two weeks until pitchers and catchers report!