From the Department of “Hey, I Didn’t Know You Did That!” we’re proud to announce a sizzlin’ new segment of the MortarBlog, entitled Mortarons Exposed: Stuff We Do When We’re Not Advertising.

Whilst fraternizing with each other for fun, as we’re occasionally known to do here, we discovered that people at the Mortar actually do some pretty interesting, non-work-related crap. So interesting we think it’s worth telling you about. If all goes well, you’ll agree.

Our first guest: Stefanie Hornby, Accounting Manager at Mortar.

You know what accountants do: crunch numbers, balance ledgers, and star in feature-length films. Wait, what? Just so happens that our money-managing, paycheck-cutting, now-married Stefanie Hornby has been an actress in the Bay Area for 18 years, under the moniker Stefanie Goldstein. Not only can she generate a profits and loss report with a pivot table, she has her own IMDB page. Oh, and her mother was a talk show host, her father was a writer on Happy Days, and her cousin produced about a bajillion TV shows. NBD.

Stefanie’s acted in theater, improv, mortifying commercials, and dozens of indie films. Her biggest taste of fame came in 2009 when she filmed The Snake, a dark comedy that Patton Oswalt promoted as an Official Selection at South by Southwest. Despite the buzz, and Margaret Cho being in the film, it didn’t take off. Then Stef had a daughter in 2010, and, well, you know how those pesky children can get in the way of things.

Still, she hasn’t let motherhood completely obscure her art. Earlier this year, Stef performed at SF Sketchfest with Will Durst. Yeah, that Will Durst. And she says she’d love to get back into acting, once her daughter can feed and dress herself and such.

If all of that isn’t juicy enough, turns out Stef and her twin sister were contestants on the twin edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and got royally screwed out of prize money. In an act of catharsis, Stef wrote and performed a one-woman show about the experience, entitled “Blame It On the Bossa Nova.”  

We will never blame you, Stefanie. You are officially a goddess among us.

L to R: Guy next to Patton Oswalt, Patton Oswalt, other guy next to Patton Oswalt, girl next to Stefanie, our spectacular Stefanie.