Our client Alliant, besides rhyming in an uncanny way, is on the hunt for a Divisional Marketing Director in their Seattle office. 8-10 years of experience suggested; awesome personality required. We should mention that Alliant is one of the largest insurance brokerage firms in the nation. We should also re-mention that the position is located in Seattle, magical land of flying fish markets and misshapen trolls. If we didn’t already have jobs, we’d be there in a heartbeat.
Whew! What a crazy wild whirlwind these last two weeks were. Jonny had an audition for Glee, a photo shoot in Bali, and dinner at Zooey Deschanel’s house. Our intern’s newfound popularity has got him so booked, we may need to hire another intern to do the stuff Lil’ Jonny used to do.
Now that life at Mortar has returned to some level of sanity, we finally have time to blog about how supremely successful the Save Jonny campaign was. We reached 500 followers in 6 days – 18 days before our target date. That’s like getting an A+ when you were sure you were headed for a D.And the numbers are still growing.
What is wrong with you people?! Do you not recognize a Presidential-level haircut
when you see one? Just look at it! The salt-and-pepper sideburns! The strong jawline!
The erect posture! Shouldn’t looking that much like a President count for something,
America? Huh? Come on! OK…Perhaps not.
All politics aside, Mitt’s $12 million-and-counting Windows Vista launch of a primary
campaign proves what Mortar has been saying all along – big ideas beat big budgets
every time. But it wasn’t always this way. There was once a Romney who Americans loved didn’t want to repeatedly punch. We’re speaking about Mitt’s father George, the
former Governor of Michigan, presidential candidate, and not-complete-tool.
We are not, however, speaking about him very eloquently.
See, In 1964, when the elder Romney was running for re-election as Governor, an
intrepid young writer by the name of Dan Angel received permission to become a
participant observer in the campaign and write a biography from a remarkably up-close
and in-depth perspective. Over three years, he continued his research, which included
hours of time and multiple interviews with George, as well as his family and friends.
Angel also landed the rare opportunity to interview former president Dwight Eisenhower
at his Gettysburg farm. The book, Romney, A Political Biography, was published in 1967
and provides a full account of George’s professional and political life.
Like Mitt Romney, Dan Angel was born in Detroit. Unlike Romney, Dan is actually
popular in Michigan, serving three terms in the Michigan State Legislature before
embarking on a career as a college professor, and then as President of Marshall University,
Stephen F. Austin University, and other nationally known colleges.
Fast forward to 2012, and Dan Angel is now Dr. Dan Angel, President of Golden Gate University.
And Mortar is GGU’s PR agency.
And Mortar PR knows that local and national media appreciate an expert who can offer insight into a candidate’s history and influences. (We also know more than a few writers’ phone numbers.)
Which is why Dr. Angel has been interviewed and published in the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times as well as TIME. It’s also why the media repeatedly turn to GGU when they’re looking for intelligent opinions from experts. And that, in turn, is why students know they can turn to GGU when they want to become experts.
The Mortar PR team remains busy lining up additional interviews, and possibly some
on-site events.
This is the Great Gazoo. A minor character from The Flintstones, capable of magic.
"What am I gonna do with all these gaudy rings?"
This is Eli Manning, quarterback of the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the Great Gazoo, and is also occasionally capable of magic, although not enough magic to get Mortar to do a Super Bowl Ad Recap on time. The man was busy last week, as were we. Sorry. Let’s get right to it.
“Reinvention” as an idea is more beaten-to-death than the New England Patriots’ hopes and dreams. (Yeah, we said it.) But in this spot, we can almost hear the creatives saying, “You want “reinvented?” Oh, we’ll give you reinvented…” and off we go into a magical land where curtains are pizza and Toyota Camrys are actually interesting. Well done.
Chevrolet – “Camaro/Happy Grad”
User-generated stuff usually makes us insecure and bitter. Like the New England Patriots. (Pow!) But this Chevy spot is an exception. The (amateur) actor’s beautifully over-the-top reaction equates owning a Camaro with ridiculous amounts of joy, which is never a bad idea when you’re selling a completely impractical muscle car these days.
Side note: We had more than one viewer ask us if it bothered us that the kid was getting a mini-fridge for graduation. Wouldn’t you give that to the kid when he was entering school? Just sayin’.
There is almost nothing good about this spot. Kinda like the Patriots’ defense. (BA-ZING!) It employs the same level of creativity as The Singing Dogs’ version of “Jingle Bells,” which is universally recognized as the Most Hated holiday song. But if you can watch this without smiling, we’ll pay you $542 bucks.*
We love gratuitous nudity as much as the next shifty-eyed person in a raincoat, but the on-purpose tastelessness of Go Daddy’s schtick was bad the first time, and has somehow managed to get worse.
Recycling. Good for the planet. Bad for ideas. And it’s even worse when it starts to affect the credibility of the Mortar Monkey Theorem, i.e. “Monkey=Funny.” So this recycled idea that was only moderately funny the first two times, is really getting stale at this point, which annoys us. What we’re saying is – “Don’t use chimps in sucktastic ads, you hacks. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.”
And One We Really Loved That You Probably Didn’t See Because…Canada.
Our goody-two shoes brother Canada, all jealous because they get a stupid Grey Cup instead of an awesome Super Bowl, went and did this wonderful Budweiser spot that you had to live in Canada to see. We are not crying because there is no crying in hockey, but…look. Just give us aboot a minute, eh?
(Whatever, Canada. You’re perfect. But we’re still behind America bald eagle percent.)
Honorable mention to Chrysler, who you’ve probably heard enough about by now.
E*Trade and Coke, even the Great Gazoo can’t save you dum-dums from lame overuse of characters. (And if there’s anyone who should know from lame characters, it’s him.) See you next year. Probably about a week late.
You didn’t think we’d just make a holiday card for ourselves, did you? That’s not what the ol’ giving spirit’s about. Channel your pent-up holiday cheer/bitterness/ rage into the customizable Greeting Maker we created for Marketo. And take it easy on the brownie bites, okay?
