Category: Uncategorized
December 31st, 2013

The Perfect Gift for the Neurotic On Your List.

Do you respect wood? If so, you’ll appreciate Mortar’s client gift this year:

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Oh, and you’ll need a drinking vessel to go with those shiny new coasters.

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Merry Chrismukkah, everybody.

Why are you still here? It’s New Year’s Eve. Get out there and do what the glass told you to.

October 29th, 2013

Mortar Explores Organic Food; Gets Uncomfortably Hungry While Doing It.

When you’re surrounded by more ads for cloud services than actual clouds, you begin to question whether Bay Area residents ever consume anything that doesn’t come with a heaping side of hashtags. So we consider it a treat when we’re able to work on a brand that sells real, tangible products you can eat – commonly known as “food.”

New Leaf Community Markets is an organic grocery store chain that began in Santa Cruz and gradually spread its way around the Bay Area. After opening a new store in Pleasanton, New Leaf saw an opportunity to introduce themselves to their neighbors through a more distinctive brand. In other words, they wanted to show people they aren’t just a mini version of Whole Foods. We started by crafting a tagline that captures their mission to deliver the freshest, most sustainable, local, and organic products possible. “Purveyors of goodness” encapsulates that idea, and gives New Leaf the approachable neighborhood feel they were after.

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August 28th, 2013

Don’t Sweat the Sweaty Stuff.

Remember the folks at miraDry? Of course you do; they’re our most memorable client of all time. They invented a way to significantly reduce underarm sweating. What? We can explain.

There are millions of Americans who experience excessive sweating – 1 in 5 to be exact. So the next time you soak a henley after walking two blocks, don’t assume you’re out of shape. Some people just have overactive sweat glands. And since not many people talk about it, not many people know what to do about it.

A few mediocre solutions exist. Botox works, but you have to go back every few months for it to stay working. Relying on prescription antiperspirants is like plugging a leak with a marshmallow. And surgery is never fun. (Except maybe for Mortaron Ben Klau, who says he loves getting MRIs.)

miraDry is the only non-invasive treatment that produces lasting results. We’re talking an average 82% reduction in underarm sweat. It’s a big deal. But it’s also an admittedly touchy topic to broach.

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July 22nd, 2013

Packard Children’s Hospital Makes Babies Strong Like Bigfoot.

Whether they’re delivering healthy babies, or making sick children strong again, Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford is darn good at what it does. Ironically, after becoming the go-to name in Silicon Valley for treating the most complex pediatric cases, people thought of delivering at Packard specifically for high-risk or special-needs pregnancies. But that’s cray-cray. First off, how your pregnancy goes is about as predictable as Colin Farrell in a singlet. So, isn’t it a good thing if your hospital is prepared for any circumstance – even if your pregnancy ends up going as smooth as Larry David’s head?

Second, while other hospitals make you comfortable and give you fuzzy slippers on The Big Day, Packard cares for you throughout your entire pregnancy, and beyond. They don’t just deliver your baby, they build a long-term partnership with you. After your little un’s out in the world, s/he can get spectacular pediatric care from Packard, too. And with Stanford University medical school being one of the top-ranked in the country, it’s awfully nice to know you’re in the hands of the best of the best.

What we mean is, delivering at Packard gives your lil’ one the strongest start possible. That became the anthem of our campaign, and we blanketed the San Francisco Peninsula with it.

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You know what’s cute? Baby fists making hand gestures. You know what’s not cute? Getting a baby to make those gestures in a photo shoot. 

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Who says infants can’t double-fist?

 

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Targeting pregnant or soon-to-be-preggers women presented an interesting challenge. (Hell, even some pregnant women don’t know they’re pregnant.) But thanks to our media team wrangling technology in the cleverest of ways, the ads are being served to Silicon Valley women visiting top pregnancy websites. Because if you live in Menlo Park and are reading about the Creighton Fertility System, you’re almost definitely our audience. (Or you’re a copywriter doing research who’s about to get bludgeoned over the head with retargeting ads. Le sigh.)

We’re talking thousands of websites, and 80 million impressions. Basically, if you’re in Silicon Valley and pregnant, or thinking about getting knocked up, there’s no way you’re not seeing these ads. We even did ads in Spanish. Top that, huevones.

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The campaign is running through August. High-five our little/alarmingly large guy if you see him around.

April 16th, 2013

On Character. And Weasels.

Dear Mainstream Media,

We can’t believe we have to tell you this, it appears we do.
When a disaster like the Boston Marathon bombing occurs, how you respond is a measure – the measure – of your character. From where we’re sitting, it appears that you have time to compile, review, edit and upload video from the scene, but you don’t have time to turn off the @&#^ing preroll commercials!? Seriously?

Face. Palm.

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