With a headline like "Reno: It's Like Vegas But Without All The Douchebags!" you'd think we were Conan O'Brien's roadies. Or you'd think Team CoCo had part-time gigs as brand strategists at Mortar. But it ain't like that at all. What it is like is this – we freaking told you so! 

See?

SEE!?

There is good, cheap, non-douchey fun to be found in the Biggest Little City. (And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.) Go check it out for yourselves!
Just don't tell the you-know-whos.

Thanks, Team CoCo!

"Make stuff people like. It's in the rulebook."

Mortar client Antenna just bought out Vaultus Mobile Technologies, the people who designed the eTrade app for iPhone and Droid – and gave the world the power to invest using the trusted knowledge of golf-playing talking babies.  Putting our well-documented antipathy toward The Talking Baby Gimmick aside for a moment, we think this purchase says something interesting.

Gene Signorini, vice president of market watcher Yankee Group’s Anywhere Enterprise Research division, says: “With this acquisition, Antenna has positioned itself to tap directly into…mobile market dynamics.”

To which we say, “Get to the interesting part, Gene.”

At which point Gene says, “Employees are demanding that mobile applications for business deliver the same type of user experiences that they are accustomed to getting from their personal life."

Thank you, Gene. That’s what we were looking for.

It’s like this, y'all: Somebody (Antenna) is building really cool apps that people use at work. The guy who fixes your Xerox machine. The guy who delivers Murphy’s Stout.  Instead of the clipboards they used to carry around, folks like that now have smartphones. Which do smart stuff.  So naturally, those folks – and the people who got them the technology in the first place – demand that level of functionality in their personal lives. Vaultus delivered that. And Antenna wisely snapped them up. See need, address need. Smart. 

It's Girl Scout cookie time, which also happens to be our favorite time of the year.

Coincidence?  Maybe.

Or maybe its because the days are getting a wee bit longer, the cherry blossoms are a bloomin,' and we no longer have to harbor misguided and irrational rage towards a bitter and lonely breed of rodent who may or may not see his own shadow in some destitute New England village.

But mostly it's the cookies.

Cookie booth sales kick off TODAY,  and our very own Nor Cal Girl Scouts are leading the way in the social media and tech space, being the savvy, smart and notoriously adorable little do-gooders who have captivated NPR's All Things Considered.

Where can you buy some boxes, you say? All systems GO for the GPS locater of confections, the interwebs' answer to sugar withdrawals. Visit  www.ilovecookies.org -and type in your zip code for a booth near you. Plus you can make amazing recipes like Do-Si Do^® Thai peanut chicken, Somoas^® Fried Shrimp, Thin Mint Brownies and OMG I'm too hungry to keep going.

Did we mention all cookies have 0 grams trans-fat? No breaking resolutions quite yet.  Hurry up though, the kiddies pack up stands on March 21. Now only if NASA could get their act together…

Seems like no matter where we go, we can't seem to avoid "news" about a certain "sports icon" who has now tainted our mailbox and is now the cover of Vanity Fair this month.

Needless to say, we are underwhelmed with this editorial decision. We are not into beating dead horses- or any animal for that matter. So let us tell you about some REAL sports news, hot off the press:

Though you know we are all about Team America, we must admit the U.S. is somewhat of a 'late bloomer' in many ways:

• comprehensive health care
• Soccer
• The metric system

and now, Lawn Bowls.

To remedy this, we've just begun PR work for the US Lawn Bowls Association in order to help the sport gain some visibility in the U.S., a nation under the spell of that highly irritating but oddly attractive NFL robot.

Oh-kay,  so Lawn Bowls doesn't have a bot, and that might have be on our to-do list. But the sport is enjoying a huge international renaissance, gaining popularity in Japan, and ESPN Magazine just gave Michael Siddall, reigning US Champ, a nice mention December's issue. 

Check and Mate, Tiger.

But did you know:

• There are over 100 clubs in the USA? (And probably one near you)
• That the 2009 Men's National Champ is also a Lutheran Minister?
• It was invented by the ancient Egyptians and brought to America in 1632?
• Sir Francis Drake was an avid player?
• 14 year old Joshua Burnowski is the youngest competing player in the US?
• That playing a game of Lawn Bowls is as healthy as a session of yoga?
• It's incredibly fun and easy to learn, but equally difficult to master?
• You can watch  'Lawn Bowls 101' video here?

We didn't think so.

Lucky for Mortar, San Francisco has the OLDEST turf in country, and we've has already drafted a crisis communications document apologizing for any and all incidents heretofore that may occur on the greens as a result of the Mortar Agency, LLC.

Check out the official release and while your at it, Become a fan of Lawn Bowls in the USA on Facebook.

If Borat can do it, so can you.