FrontRow doesn’t just make teachers’ voices louder, it makes them clearer.

And Mortar helps FrontRow make themselves clear with a shiny new website, GoFrontRow.com, is live.

Click through to marvel at:

– Embedded quicktime movies featuring real teachers extolling the benefits of wearing a mic in class. Other than looking like j-Lo, we mean.

– Play Mootown match-up – Jeremy and Hugh’s very effective attempt to channel the mind of a
kindergartner. Guess, who had to supply the animal sound effects when we ran out of budget?

– The bright, playful colors (oohh, fun) and the complete lack of imposing technology.

Seriously, they are cramming up to 35 kids into the 4th grade classrooms right here in San Francisco. You don’t have to be a parent to appreciate how loud those classes are.

Front Row has a glorious future as long as we insist on teaching our kids in crappy facilities and pack classrooms to the limit.

The website is part of an integrated campaign for Front Row that included a name change (they are the company formally known as Phonic Ear), brand development, PR outreach, and online and offline advertising.

Early in the 20th Century, explorer Ernest Shackleton ran this ad:

"MEN WANTED FOR HAZARDOUS JOURNEY. SMALL WAGES,  BITTER COLD, LONG MONTHS OF COMPLETE DARKNESS, CONSTANT DANGER, SAFE RETURN DOUBTFUL. HONOR AND RECOGNITION IN CASE OF SUCCESS."

Naturally, Hugh wanted to rewrite it: "’Men!?’ If the dummy had hired women, he probably wouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place. ."

Anyway, for the fourth time in three years, Mortar has moved. This is our story.

30 August, 2006
The journey begins. All are in good spirits, the provisions packed safely away. We look forward to adventure.

3 September, 2006
Crew safely ashore. New surroundings spare, but roomy. Sled dogs and Todd seem comfortable.

5 September, 2006
A polar bear has taken Tim. Apparently it offered him Cardinals tickets and a martini. Jeremy bludgeoned a walrus to death (for insulting the honor of the South); we shall make lamp oil from its blubber. Todd is making mai-tais. He is beginning to draw the ire of the crew.

9 September, 2006
We are now locked in a desperate struggle for warmth, reminiscent of Shackleton’s expedition to the South Pole. While we have not yet resorted to eating the sled dogs, a couple of them are giving us suspicious glances. As the crew fights for survival,  Nick has mentioned a side business of storing furs, (Renata has volunteered to wear those furs,) and Suzanne is installing meathooks in the ceiling. Much like the hardy-yet-beautiful marsh fleawort (Senecio congestus), Todd continues to thrive in this cold, barren moonscape.
Pray for us.

10 September, 2006
Polar bear has returned Tim. He had a receipt, so we had to take him back. (Apparently there was a disagreement about the use of ellipsis.) Todd is attempting to give hula lessons on an ice floe he keeps referring to as “the Lido Deck.” Attendance is low.

12 September, 2006
As the remaining crewmembers huddle around the faint glow of the walrus-fat lamp, I notice their eyes flicking furtively towards Todd, who, clad in naught but a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, is humming contentedly and trying to get the crew to choose sides for volleyball. Suzanne’s hand slides stealthily towards the harpoon gun, and I am ashamed to note that no one, myself included, makes a move to stop her. Oh, the humanity.

Footnote: Send food parcels (and resumes if you’re game) to Mortar at our new digs: 25 Maiden Lane. Top floor. San Francisco, CA 94108.

Regular readers will recall that Mortar’s CD Hugh records his wife mumbling in her sleep. He has been working his voice activated recorder working overtime this week.

Click here to hear his wife say: "what is going on with your snot",  "hooray for the box distributor" and the ever popular "three bananas? I’ll kill you".

We (Mortar) just launched this website for the global OB10 network.

I know. You miss the typical opinionated Mortablog rant.

But let’s be clear, we started this blog so we could share our love for our clients with you.

And there is a lot of love for mighty OB10 at the Mortar.

The good folks at OB10 look after the little guy: they speed invoices across the Internet AND they save trees.

You should see the reception these guys get at Shared Services conferences. They are like rock stars in Accounting.

Take a look and pass it along to the people who pay your bills.

The opinions expressed in  Mortablog  are not necessarily those of the author or anyone else at the Mortar
for that matter.  Just who owns them is kind of unclear really.  If you
do find someone who will own up to them for sure, let us know.