We have to imagine that some poor, poor child wished for coal after finding this gem in his stocking.

When I was a kid, my dad told me SPAM stood for "Some Pig Ain’t Movin’". Ever since, I can’t help but feel entertained by the very notion of SPAM. Here, for the benefit of all those interested in either SPAM or really fun advertising, is a short bit brought to you by toast. Enjoy.

Thank you Adrants/Fresh Creation.

Thanks to our friends at AdRants for pointing out the new ads featuring Paris Hilton. Hmmm, on second thought, “thanks” might not be the word we were looking for. Anyway, the nation’s top useless skank is again being paid to shill an icky product. This time, canned sparkling wine! Yum!

The can is gold:

And so’s the ‘ho:

First the Hasselhoff obsession and now Paris Hilton. What’s wrong with Germany? (Aside from the first half of the 20th century.)

Mother, New York, brings us "Out with the Old" … great cover of Que Sera Sera (by Jennifer Terran).