Are we broken up about Lucasfilm selling out to Disney? Or just jealous of George’s $4 billion retirement package? In either case, the artwork comes from our own Dan Youmans and Mark Lawson, who remind you to let the Wookiee win.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Five vagrant zombies were sighted last Friday around 3:15 p.m. on Maiden Lane, near San Francisco’s Union Square. An eyewitness named Phil (the bartender at Otis) reported hearing a series of bone-chilling screams, immediately followed by Mortar employees bolting out of the building like their lives depended on it. Probably because they did.

“It was crazy,” said Phil. “I mean, I’ve had drinks with Scott, and he’s usually a really calm dude. I didn’t think he could shriek like a 10-year-old girl at an N Sync reunion concert.”

Licensed zombie-ologists are still investigating where the undead visitors may have originated from. However, past research has shown that zombies are drawn to especially old buildings, and 25 Maiden Lane is on San Francisco’s Historic Register. Mark Williams, managing partner and co-founder of Mortar, contends the pseudo-humans were after the abnormally large brains of Mortar’s employees, a hypothesis his colleagues widely support.

While no news crews made it to the scene in time, we did secure this footage captured by a group of Norwegian tourists:

Mortar’s office was mercilessly ravaged by the pale-faced monsters, leaving it uninhabitable. However, thanks to the wonder of small agency efficiency, the company managed to find a new home over the weekend. Mortar’s new residence is 2 Bryant Street, Suite 210, in San Francisco’s SOMA neighborhood – located across from Red’s Java House and Pier 22 1/2 (zipcode 94105 for those who plan to send love letters). The move comes at an oddly convenient time, since the agency had outgrown its space and was dangerously close to installing bunk-desks.

No Mortar employees were seriously injured in the event, and all are reported to be in stable condition. Allyson Stinchfield, Director of PR and Social Media, did receive a dollop of zombie spit-up in her eye upon asking one of the flesh-eaters if he was Moby.

We like ads that make you think. Ads that don’t blare their message at you through a megaphone. Ads that inspire you to support a cause that was barely on your radar yesterday.

This new campaign from Dentsu Shanghai checks all of the above boxes. The idea is so powerfully simple, you don’t even need to understand the Chinese in the corner (but if you can read it, we wouldn’t mind a hint). We love that each ad tells a story through a single image that’s at once understated and cataclysmic. We will also promptly be returning the polar bear rug we recently purchased for our office lobby. (Just kidding. Too soon?)

The sophisticated-meets-cheeky, political cartoony illustrations hit the nail on the head, magnifying the idiocy of the hunter, and of the entire situation itself.

It’s like JT used to say: What goes around comes back to bite you in the delicate hiney region.

What’s your take on the campaign? (That comments section down there isn’t going to populate itself.)

Via Ads of the World.

STOP.

You may not enter this blogpost.

Face the wall – hands where we can see them. Hand over your wallet, along with your firstborn child. We’re going to need five forms of government-issued identification and a DNA sample before we even think about letting you in here.

No one can stop you from entering a blogpost. So we’re not sure why Ticketmaster thinks it can stop you from entering a concert or sporting event you paid to attend. The national ticketing giant has begun rolling out a new model it calls “Paperless Ticketing.” Probably because “Evil Corporate Plan That Robs Consumers of Their Rights and Money” didn’t have a nice ring to it. Fortunately, our client Fan Freedom is out to stop them.

Under the new, evil model, your tickets are tied to your credit card and ID. Which means you can’t give your ticket to anyone. In some cases, you won’t even be permitted to sell your tickets. Yes, Ticketmaster expects you to cough up the money, regardless of whether you’ve contracted the bubonic plague.

What do these restrictions mean? No more scoring cheap tickets from season-ticket holders. Or sharing some of your season tickets with others. Or giving tickets as gifts. But don’t worry, your money goes straight to some billionaire’s Gold-Plated Gulfstream Fund.

In the unlikely event you are allowed to sell your ticket? Ticketmaster will happily charge you a fee for doing so. (Because the mountains of superfluous fees you already pay aren’t soul-crushing enough.)

And for anyone who has friends: If you buy paperless tickets as a group, you have to wait until everyone gets there and enter the game or concert together. Oh, sorry – was seeing the first half of the game important to you?

Help! We’ve been screwed over and we can’t get up.

So far, paperless ticketing has only been implemented in a few venues around the country. But it’s set to spread, which means Ticketmaster could potentially dominate ticketing even more than it does today. Raise your hand if you’re excited for higher prices and bigger fees.

Blogger Nick Persico shared a detailed account of his latest ticket-buying fiasco, including his rage upon realizing that 23.8% of the price he paid was purely charges and fees. It’s worth reading just to take note of all the unnecessary and uncontrollable swindling that goes into a ticket price.

Wait, don’t go! There’s a bright side to this bitter tale. Fan Freedom is fighting hard to stop the injustice, and we’re pumped to be part of the movement. They’ve created a vehicle for fans to stand behind – and with enough collective power, we can stop El Hombre from taking over. If you believe we own the tickets we buy (and don’t enjoy being screwed by corporatocracy), join Fan Freedom’s mailing list so you can stay informed and take action. Or, at the very least, share this post.