When I was a kid, my dad told me SPAM stood for "Some Pig Ain’t Movin’". Ever since, I can’t help but feel entertained by the very notion of SPAM. Here, for the benefit of all those interested in either SPAM or really fun advertising, is a short bit brought to you by toast. Enjoy.

Thank you Adrants/Fresh Creation.

This hilarious video comes to us courtesy of one of the funniest personal bloggers out there, Ms. Forksplit.

We’d actually post the video here but Blogger – How do you say? – sucks.

Also, we’d like to reassure everyone that our Art Directors are all still safely under lock and key. If they are very, very good we sometimes give them fresh bread and fully potable water. Sometimes.

Thanks to our friends at AdRants for pointing out the new ads featuring Paris Hilton. Hmmm, on second thought, “thanks” might not be the word we were looking for. Anyway, the nation’s top useless skank is again being paid to shill an icky product. This time, canned sparkling wine! Yum!

The can is gold:

And so’s the ‘ho:

First the Hasselhoff obsession and now Paris Hilton. What’s wrong with Germany? (Aside from the first half of the 20th century.)

Please join us and the New York Times in a hearty welcoming “w00t!” for Vikki Garrod, our new Queen Mum of Brand Strategy.
Here’s an excerpt from her bio, which you can read in full on the Mortar site:
"…Between years of fighting the good fight at advertising
behemoths like J. Walter Thompson, Euro RSCG, McCann-Erickson and Grey,
she’s traveled the world, started companies of her own, and seen Katie
Couric naked. Yes, really.
Vikki has provided groundbreaking strategic
direction for an incredibly prestigious list of clients from Dell to
Chevron to Symantec to Diageo.Vikki adds unparalleled passion and intellect to
the art of strategic planning and an entirely new dimension to the way
we all watch the CBS Evening News."