Author Archives: MortarMark
January 17th, 2012

You have a problem. And that’s okay.

We love it when clients share our sense of humor. So when Marketo asked us to make fun of marketers and all the worn-out, senseless jargon we they use, we didn’t blink half an eyelash before saying yes.

Though it might seem like a bunch of shiny pictures and word fluff, marketing is a tough job. (Stop laughing.) Marketo’s customers find themselves caught in a constant tug-of-war, between sales teams harassing them to find better leads, and higher-ups demanding to know where all the marketing dollars are going. It’s enough to make you crazy.

The whole thing would be a helluva lot easier if marketers could see what goes on behind the invisible marketing curtain – like which leads are more promising, and which marketing efforts are working best. That’s exactly what Marketo helps marketers do, using smart tracking software and sophisticated analytics. They wanted to tell their customers they’re here to extend a helping hand, hopefully catching them before they go off the ledge (or at least before they make that awful splat! sound on the ground).

Behold: A series of direct mail postcards, leading to a landing page where users can submit their own headlines. Remember, writing can be a highly effective means of relieving stress.

            

           

 

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January 6th, 2012

The Mortar is hiring Interns!

Apply online or share the job description with a buddy here.

December 22nd, 2011

Jingle _____, jingle ______, ______ laid an egg.

You didn’t think we’d just make a holiday card for ourselves, did you? That’s not what the ol’ giving spirit’s about. Channel your pent-up holiday cheer/bitterness/    rage into the customizable Greeting Maker we created for Marketo. And take it easy on the brownie bites, okay?

 

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December 19th, 2011

We wish you a blurry drinkfest.

Well, friends, 2011 is nearing a close, and it’s been an enlightening year.

We learned that real protests can still happen, ones powerful enough to spawn an impassioned movement worldwide.

We learned that Friday, the most sacred day of the week, will forever be marred by a whiny, lyrically challenged, brain-anesthetizing anthem (no, Ben Pang, we don’t know if Rebecca is single).

And we learned that you never know when the harsh B-29 of reality might firebomb you from behind.

Because no December is complete without an inordinate bombardment of cheer-infested messages, here’s the holiday card you’ve been waiting for. Circular protuberances not included.

We filmed it on our enviable new chalkboard hallway. Next time you’re around, maybe we’ll let you add your own drawing – if you’ve been a good girl or boy.

Happy Holidays. Here’s to throwing back five too many gingerbread and tonics this weekend.

 

December 13th, 2011

We Will Fight Them On The Beaches!

So maybe you’ve heard about this War On Christmas thing. As for us, we remain neutral, like Switzerland. But there is an up with which we will not put. Brand standards, people. Look, we don’t care if you fill Santa with cheap vodka or pit him against Jesus in a no-holds-barred cage match.

Santadiagram
Leaving less than 1/4″ of clear space around the logo pisses Santa off, boys and girls.

But we do care if you don’t maintain the Jolly Fat Man’s brand standards. Which is why we’re damn glad the fine folks at QuietroomUK have produced The Definitive Brand Guide To *Santa.*

Download it, learn it, live it.

And if you’re thinking about deviating from the brand nostalgia, remember, he sees you when you’re sleeping.