This is David Tyree, Wide Receiver for the World Champion New York Football Giants, making a catch for the ages that sealed an amazing victory last night. We mention this not because some of us happen to have been Giant fans since the ’70’s, but because Mr. Tyree is an alumnus of Montclair High School, alma mater of Kena, Hugh, and David’s wife, Danielle.
Buzz Aldrin, Joe Walsh and Christina Ricci are also Montclair alums, but in view of last night’s performance, we’ll be rating this year’s ads in terms of their Tyree-Worthiness.
A = Fully Tyree-Worthy. The creative equivalent of that catch.
B = Tyree Would Watch It, And If You’re Lucky, Nod Approvingly.
C = You Have Mildly Amused Tyree.
Go Now, Before He Changes His Mind.
D = You Are Wasting Tyree’s Time.
F = Is David Tyree Going To Have To Choke A #*$&?
Tide: "Talking Stain"
We think someone else is doing something similar, but we still laughed, and the gimmick actually works hard for product benefit. Tyree like.
GRADE = A-.
Coke: "It’s Mine"
We did not get all teary when Charlie Brown finally won something. We had something in our eye. (Pass the tissues.) Tyree has to deduct points for not really saying anything other than "Coke = good," but then…it’s Coke. It’s not like we need a list of attributes.
GRADE = A-.
CareerBuilder: "Queen of Hearts"
You could say this is just another variation of the "Take This Job And Shove It" theme job boards always lean on…but you’d be kind of ticky-tack if you did. It’s clever. It goes right after the emotional trigger the audience needs to step up their job search. And his little legs! Hee.
Bridgestone: "Unexpected Obstacles."
Perhaps "B" could also stand for "Borrowed Interest," which we saw a lot of this year. This seemed like a ripoff of the old GEICO spot, but still, the screaming device brought the funny, and touted an actual benefit nicely.
GRADE = B.
Audi: "R8 Is Here"
Again, borrowed interest, but at least they borrowed it from a good place. Extra points for casting Moe Green. Cool car, too.
GRADE = B.
Talking babies? Really? At least he was a funny talking baby, but to our knowledge, the Talking Baby Moratorium has not expired. Tyree throws a flag. 15 yards; Too Many Vocalizing Infants On The Field.
GRADE = C+.
Wow. The borrowed interest is piled so high we don’t know where to begin. Wait – yes we do: This will sell a lot…of GEICO insurance. D’oh. Tyree throws multiple flags.
GRADE = D.
Um, ok, we got the "our ads suck on purpose" thing last year; this year’s strategy is to piss off all of Asia?
Tyree is not amused.
GRADE = F.
The Rest: FedEx, Planters and Cars.com…Tyree does not hate you. Bud Light is always good for a stupid chuckle, which is more than we can say for their beer. Will Ferrell plays the same character every single time…yet we laugh in spite of ourselves. Garmin? WTF? Doritos and Pepsi, yawn. UnderArmour actually managed to damage their brand. Tyree pities you.
Well, that’s all from another year. The ads were pretty gutless.
Sort of like the Patriots. (Oh, snap!)