Well, here it is. Microsoft’s $300 million baby. Our verdict?

"I’m a PC and I’m insecure."
"I’m a PC and I think borrowed interest is a good substitute for an idea."
"I’m a PC and I still don’t have anything new to say."
"I’m a PC and I have more money than sense."

We warned you, Redmond – wow us or lose us. And we’re not feeling the wow.

What say you, Mortarblog Nation?

UPDATE: Oh, this is friggin’ priceless: The spot was made on a Mac.

And the saga continues.
So Microsoft has moved past the "Hey, We’re Not Evil" stage, but instead of blowing us away with amazing new products, they’ve apparently chosen to drop $300 million on…whining about Apple.
In today’s New York Times, we read:

"Apple executives have been “using a lot of their money to
de-position our brand and tell people what we stand for,” said David
Webster, general manager for brand marketing at Microsoft in Redmond,
Wash.

“They’ve made a caricature out of the PC,” he added, which was unacceptable because “you always want to own your own story.”

The
campaign illustrates “a strong desire” among Microsoft managers “to
take back that narrative,” Mr. Webster said, and “have a conversation
about the real PC.”

A giant advertiser responding to the
disparagement of a smaller rival can be fraught with peril. Consumers
may see it as a validation of the claims, or even bullying. On the
other hand, ignoring the taunts can damage images and sales.

In
the car-rental wars, the market leader, Hertz, long kept silent about a
cheeky Avis campaign that proclaimed: “We’re No. 2. We try harder.” But
after Avis revenue grew robustly, Hertz shot back: “For years, Avis has
been telling you Hertz is No. 1. Now we’re going to tell you why.”"

Didja catch that last part, Redmond? "Now we’re going to tell you why."

Not having seen the ads, we will withhold final judgment. But we will say this: You’d better blow us away, Microsoft, and not with clever advertising. Amaze us with the "why." With product benefits that make us think: "Man. Imagine what I could do if I had that." 

You guys do some things surprisingly well. The Zune is actually pretty cool. So is XBox. But it’s not the advertising, or even the product design that allows Apple to kick your ass. It’s the easily understandable, usable product benefits. Things that fire users’ sense of wonder.

Right now, our sense of wonder is saying: "Wonder why they’re giving Apple all this free publicity?"

There’s a concept in this business we call "ad," known as "malicious obedience." Here’s how it works:

CLIENT: "Make the logo bigger."

CREATIVE DEPARTMENT: "Oh yeah? You want the logo bigger? We’ll make the freakin’ logo bigger..."

…And then the logo covers the whole ad, making nobody happy.

Malicious obedience is not a practice we generally advocate. It’s childish (we don’t mind that part,) and it solves nothing. (Well, it feels good for about a minute…)

This poster, however, would be an exception. The MPAA thought Kevin Smith’s original poster for Zack and Miri Make A Porno was too racy. So he resubmitted the one on the right, which we like much better, and not just because it keeps us from having to look at Seth Rogen’s overexposed, undershaved mug. Just look at all that copy! 

Yay, malicious obedience!

Yay, Boing-Boing!

Here’s the long version of Crispin’s second spot for Microsoft. Funny, but a bit transparent: "We Don’t Have Anything To, You Know, Sell, But We’re Not Evil Anymore." But that’s just us.
Tell us what you think!