Maybe it’s all the recent buzz about pink slime, but something has prompted McDonald’s, of all brands, to embrace honesty in its advertising. McDonald’s Canada launched a website called “Our food. Your questions.” where anyone can ask a question about their food and receive a (presumably) truthful response. It piqued our attention here at the Mortar, since transparency is oft our weapon of choice.

For instance, Isabel from Toronto asked, “Why does your food look different in the advertising than what is in the store?” McDonald’s responded with a video that chronicles the photo shoot of a quarter pounder with cheese. These burgers get more pampering in an hour than we do in an entire week. The nips and tucks, the blow drying…it’s all a little weird, but at the same time, we came to respect the job of the food stylist. (Fortunately it’s not our job, because under our supervision that burger would be inhaled long before showtime).

An honest question dignified with an honest answer. We like that. (And yes, the endearing Canadian accent helps.) Wonder if we can get them to explain why they had to make Ronald McDonald so dang creepy. #mcnightmares

What’s good, y’all?

This is: Eat24’s app is finally available for free downloadage! Now not only do you not have to cook or shop or even get up…you don’t even have to go over to the computer. USA! USA! USA!

Feel free to make merry and feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and… you get the idea.

…and there was much rejoicing.

In other news: It’s now more illegal to carry 16 ounces of soda in New York City than 25 grams of marijuana.
Pardon us, Mayor Bloomberg, but between the reverse-weed-crackdown and Eat24’s new app, your iron-fisted soda sanctions aren’t gonna do much about obesity. That horse has left the proverbial barn. (And was delicious.)

In other-other news: Canada! Still weird. But in a good way.

And finally, if you found it even more difficult than usual to hold Mark’s attention this week, cut the lad some slack. His mind was on Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee, and who can blame him?

Right, we’re off to Mays Field. Between our drunken spirited exhortations, Barry Zito’s curveball and Siri’s wise counsel we hope the local nine have what they need to smite their enemies. (Who hath been naughty in our sight.)  Go Giants!

We’re always conversing about the Conversation here at Mortar – whether it’s TIME making our brilliant clients sound appropriately brilliant, or an anchorman pantsing a brand’s strategy in the high school hallway. So naturally, it struck our fancy when Ashley Judd decided to get all up in it.

The media’s rampant disparaging of female celebrities generally renders them helpless as a field mouse caught in a boa constrictor’s death grip. Though Judd says she typically turns the other cheek to what the world says about her – she doesn’t read any of her interviews with news outlets – her friends alerted her that this time they’d gone too far. So-called legitimate publications were attributing Judd’s recent puffy face to plastic surgery, instead of to steroid medication she needed to fight a month-long sickness.

It sucks, but you can’t control the conversation about yourself. What you can do is deliver an intelligent, pointed response that upholds your integrity, and exposes your attackers’ douchebaggery.

Judd opted for the latter, and pulled it off with surprising grace. Her rebuff is critical, yet respectful, and definitely worth a read – even if just to soak in Judd’s cunningly elegant phrasing and deft vernacular. (Ashley, if you’re ever looking for a new gig, we’d love to have you. Operators are standing by.)

Talk amongst yourselves.

Old-school Mortarblog readers will recall that we’re not huge St. Patty’s Day fans, as our old office was right above The Irish Bank, and the wee beasties we’d have to step over to get in and out of the building were naught but a curse.  Still, we’re not completely old and grumpy. Here’s a shamrock:

Well done as  usual, Guinness. (And thanks to our peeps at ThinkSF for the link.) We would have shared it with you on Wednesday, but our interwebz blew up and we were busy, um, handling the crisis.

As for you, have a lovely weekend and St. Patrick’s Day, and be sure to avail yourself of the Hangover Ninja Strike Force if you need them. They are silent but delicious.