"Looks like Bruce Bochy's bringing in the new kid. When it's time for a change, think SpeeDee Oil Change and Tuneup."

"WHOOOOOOOO! NEW KID! WHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Well? Where is he?"

"Bochy may want to speed things up a bit. The crowd's getting a little impatient."

"Girl, you better have that baby." 

"Where is that kid? Oh, wait. He's right here, hiding behind my giant head."

Mortar, the San Francisco Giants, and everyone else we know would like to welcome Benjamin Earl Inclenrock to the ballpark. Let's check out his stats:

BATS: Left

THROWS: Left

HEIGHT: 20.5 inches long

WEIGHT: 8lb 8oz

NAMED AFTER BEN KLAU: No.

DOB: Today. A birthday he shares with Mortar alum Nora Thompson, who will be sure to show him where to get a Cha-Cha bowl. Took ya long enough, kid. Go get 'em.

"WHOOOOO! NEW KID! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Take over, new kid. That crab freaks me out. I'm outta here."