Just in.

Our first mobile app client, and the undisputed king of photosharing on the iPhone, AirMe, just landed a much vaunted official honoree nomination in the social networking category of the upcoming Webby's. Cool.

So perhaps you've heard of this Tiger Woods fellow. Been in the news a bit lately. Kinda took Nike's "Just Do It" tagline a bit literally.  Here is Nike/W+K's rejoinder, featuring Tiger's recently deceased father. It's fascinating, on a lot of levels.

Is it nakedly exploitative and self-serving? Absolutely. Which is interesting in-and-of-itself. This spot doesn't try to be anything else. Nike is saying, in effect, "You're not stupid. You know we're trying to sell golf crap. And you know we've invested gajillions in this guy. And you know no one has more to gain from a potential comeback than us. But still, check this out."

That's pretty smart.

We bet a lot of people will make the (facile) charge that "Nike's trying to put one over on us." We don't think that's true. The situation is what it is. Nike has to face it head-on whether they want to or not. So they're putting their biggest star out there and letting his dead father scold him for thirty seconds. They're treating us like adults, and they'll probably reap the whirlwind for doing so. We wish them luck with that.

But wait, there's more.

This is a very tightly-controlled exercise in American Celebutard Contrition. By which we mean – the standard drill is:

1. Celebutard Does Something Bad.
2. Lies About Same.
3. Comes Clean.
4. Hides/Goes To Rehab.
5. Appears on Oprah to Explain Self/Take Whuppin'.
6. Lies Low, Waits For Someone Else To Do Something Worse.
7. All Better.

Tiger can't really pull off step #6 if he expects to remain in the job he's trained for since he was five years old.  But what's interesting is how Nike, Tiger, and W+K are getting around step #5.

He actually is taking his whuppin', and from his dead father, no less. "Sure, Nike – dig up Dad and have him scold me while I stand there and take it." Dramatic. Undoubtedly painful. But far less undignified – and uncontrolled – than the typical Oprah Shame Spectacle. Does it let Tiger off too easily? Probably. Does it rehab his brand? Oh hell, no. But it's a necessary step toward that end. Does it sell Nike Golf? Time will tell. Does it get people talking? Oh, hell yes. Which is good for Nike, and astonishingly freaking great for W+K.

It makes us wonder – who's in charge here? Phil Knight? Tiger? Dan Wieden? We're talking a $100 million-plus endorsement deal here. Certainly Nike has the right to make a few demands. And W+K has a duty to the brand to deliver an emotional gut-punch. But where did the decision-making start? And end? Who said, "This is what we're going to do." ?

Finally, the voiceover itself.

"Tiger? I am more, um, inclined to be inquisitive…to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was…I want to find out what your feelings are…and, did you learn anything?"

On the one hand, this is an awfully soft wristslap for one of the biggest Bimbo Eruptions in modern history. We rather thought Elin's approach was more appropriate.

On the other, we live in a world that's absolutely dominated by mass media. (A world Nike and W+K had a pretty big hand in creating, if you ask us.)  We see the havoc the Global Hype Machine is capable of wreaking every time we turn on a tv, computer or however you get your news these days. Look around – it's scary out there, and getting scarier by the second.

So. Is this self-serving? Yes.
Does it let Tiger off too easily? Definitely.

But.

Has the calm, measured, "let's all take a deep breath" nature of Earl's speech taken things down a notch? And has the spot – all elements taken together -  perhaps even changed the very nature of the conversation about: Nike, Tiger, marital infidelity, celebrity, and mass media?

Has W+K rebranded the f#*$ing apology!?

We kinda think it has. We may change our minds later. But…wow. 

(All that being said, South Park did it way better, and two weeks earlier. Those guys are the heavyweight champions of the world. Very NSFW, but hilarious.)

Ok, so maybe I'm on vacation and a little bitter I missed the Girl-scout-cookie-fest (you just know all the mint thins are gone already; and all that will remain for me on Monday will be one, solitary, macaroon). Still, it gives me the slimmest of opportunities to post this troubling snap our Todd shot last year in a far away land… (which for reasons we can't get into we cannot identify).

Yup. Rat. Its what's for dinner. (Shoulda given this one to Hugh).

Nothing makes us happier than making it rain, which is exactly how we started off our Monday morning traffic meeting today.

So imagine our glee when given the opportunity to do it with something better than (ok, ok- as good as) cold hard cash: Girl Scout cookies, yo.

This A.M., our good friends/clients the Girl Scouts of Northern California sent Mortar an obscene amount of post-cookie sale goodness to our doorstep in order to celebrate the Best Cookie Season EVER.

Forever, ever?
Forever ever.

Sales are up 9.5% over last year, a hugely significant jump for any retail enterprise, and we're so thrilled to have helped make this a landmark year for our favorite entrepreneurs. More info will follow in the coming weeks.

Thanks Girls, but we can't take all the credit. But we will eat all of these cookies.  And by 'will' I mean 'did.'