We’re always conversing about the Conversation here at Mortar – whether it’s TIME making our brilliant clients sound appropriately brilliant, or an anchorman pantsing a brand’s strategy in the high school hallway. So naturally, it struck our fancy when Ashley Judd decided to get all up in it.

The media’s rampant disparaging of female celebrities generally renders them helpless as a field mouse caught in a boa constrictor’s death grip. Though Judd says she typically turns the other cheek to what the world says about her – she doesn’t read any of her interviews with news outlets – her friends alerted her that this time they’d gone too far. So-called legitimate publications were attributing Judd’s recent puffy face to plastic surgery, instead of to steroid medication she needed to fight a month-long sickness.

It sucks, but you can’t control the conversation about yourself. What you can do is deliver an intelligent, pointed response that upholds your integrity, and exposes your attackers’ douchebaggery.

Judd opted for the latter, and pulled it off with surprising grace. Her rebuff is critical, yet respectful, and definitely worth a read – even if just to soak in Judd’s cunningly elegant phrasing and deft vernacular. (Ashley, if you’re ever looking for a new gig, we’d love to have you. Operators are standing by.)

Talk amongst yourselves.

This is a puppy.

This is Jonathan the Intern.

Like a puppy, he is disgustingly adorable. Also like most puppies, he was unemployed two short months ago. And this cutie bombalootie may find himself jobless again soon if he doesn’t get your help. It would be a shame to lose him, since he’s so polite and clean-cut.

You know that soup kitchen you’ve been meaning to volunteer at? Here’s a good deed you can do without lifting your lazy hindquarters. What the hell are we talking about?

Old-school Mortarblog readers will recall that we’re not huge St. Patty’s Day fans, as our old office was right above The Irish Bank, and the wee beasties we’d have to step over to get in and out of the building were naught but a curse.  Still, we’re not completely old and grumpy. Here’s a shamrock:

Well done as  usual, Guinness. (And thanks to our peeps at ThinkSF for the link.) We would have shared it with you on Wednesday, but our interwebz blew up and we were busy, um, handling the crisis.

As for you, have a lovely weekend and St. Patrick’s Day, and be sure to avail yourself of the Hangover Ninja Strike Force if you need them. They are silent but delicious.

We have simply got to get down to the Wolfchase Galleria Mall.
Have a great weekend, everyone. (And thank you, Internet.)
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!