If Sylvie starts work at 8:15 am, and a train leaves Santa Fe traveling south at 65mph, what is the probability of Mark triple-booking himself and annoying almost everyone? Solve for X.

Happy Friday,* y’all.

*Not you, Sylvie. Back to work.

Finally. Finally. FINALLY. Yes, it took us three years to finish, but here at Mortar we like to drag things out as long as possible to build up maximum excitement for their arrival. (And to drive Jojo up the wall. Girl does a mean sideways cartwheel.) We’re thinking about creating a supplementary site to our new site, called “What Life Was Like When We Started Our Website Redesign.” Swine flu was poised to decimate us all. Ricki Lake was running for president.* Michael Jackson was still alive (RIP, PYT). Alexa and Sylvie weren’t even born yet.**

But no more dwelling in the past. Be here now. Allow us to present The New Mortar Website. Cleaner, meaner, and glistening with bacon-y goodness.

Why bacon, you ask? It’s our way of communicating what Mortar’s goal has been all along – to change the conversation. Everyone else talks about ads. We prefer to talk about love. Love of bacon. And Miles Davis. And good conversation. Because when you talk to your customers like people, rather than customers, they tend to like you a lot more.

In fact, conversations are what drive our whole approach. The conversations your customers are having about your brand now, and the ones you want them to have in the future. So instead of starting with Flashy-Expensive-TV-Spot and working backwards, we start by identifying the right message. (Plus, walking backwards makes us dizzy.)

Today, we’re considered a rare breed of agency that does advertising, branding, research and PR all under one roof – but we don’t see any other way to do it. Maybe one day, our approach will be the norm. We can’t understand why it isn’t already.

Pray tell us what you think of our (extremely) late and great site. Direct all comments to Mr. Butz.

*Not really, but how would you remember? It was eons ago.

**Also not true, but those youthful complexions will fool you every time.

Alright, San Francisco. One minute, you’re freezing our faces off. The next, you’re dumping buckets on our heads. If you’re trying to get us to do our angry pouty face, it’s working. At least there’s something out there to keep us happy: Mortar’s new outdoor work for Golden Gate University. It’s the next phase of the Shine campaign we launched back in 2009.

Hrmm, you think to yourself. With a tagline like “Shine,” I thought the headlines would be all rainbows and sunny skies. Not quite. The kind of shining GGU students do actually takes a freaking ton of hard work, dedication, and a relentless desire to succeed.

GGU is for the ambitious finance major who works two jobs and runs to classes in between. The tenacious law student who was the first in his family to go to college – let alone grad school. The hyper-busy mom who’s committed to finishing her degree. To “shine” is to make the self-inspired, completely optional decision to rise above the 40-hour week, using the remaining 128 hours to bust your gritty behind and thrust the idea of “succeeding” into a new dimension.

The message is bold, and so are the headlines. GGU students shine so bright, they make the sun look bad. Especially in craptastic weather.

When we first discovered Eat24 – an online service that allows us to order food without having to deal with human beings – we wept tears of joy.  When we found them sitting in our conference room, a certain copywriter who shall remain nameless burst into the meeting and said, “You guys are Eat24? I f#*!ing love you guys!” …and the business was ours. A few months later, new work is beginning to break. Work like this right here. Enjoy.

In which our hero grabs some well-deserved me-time. Mmmm. Hero. Wonder where you could
order one of those for takeout and/or delivery?

Sloths are not lazy. They’re just conserving energy. We’d tell you to write that one down, but the
pen and paper are way…over…there.

We’re not saying you should order Eat24 for every meal, but if you did, you could make every shelf
in your refrigerator The Beer Shelf. 
 The more you know.