Did you ever see that old episode of Star Trek with the scary aliens in the blue sparkly muu-muus who could just kind of pulse their giant brains at you and get you to do stuff? They were all like, “Paint our spaceship, Captain Kirk,” and Kirk would be all “No way,” and then they’d pulse their giant brains at him and he’d suddenly say: “How about a nice robin’s-egg blue with white trim?” That’s basically what we’re looking for, except without the oversized, pulsating craniums and sparkly muu-muus.
We’re Mortar, and we have an opening for a Senior Account Executive.
As you’ve probably figured out by now, we’re a different kind of agency – one that prides itself on building brands people love, as opposed to kissing butt and doing timesheets. That being said, you’ll still have to do timesheets. And budgets. And presentations. (And clean the sink if you mess it up. We’re not your mother.) As for the butt-kissing, our clients won’t stand for it, which is fortunate, because we’re terrible liars.
Anyway, here’s the job:
Manage client relationships and projects from start to finish, maintain and manage clients’ expectations, budgets and timelines, while communicating clients’ needs and expectations to the creative and technical teams and keep manager involved and informed on all major aspects of each account. TRANSLATION: Work with clients. Lots of them. Find out what they think they want. Help us show them what they actually need. Help the creative team deliver same. Then defend the work with the passion and zeal usually reserved for Oprah and a spiral-sliced ham. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Maintain a commitment to customer service while following established company processes and methodologies for project workflow, communication and documentation. This includes: planning and execution of assignment activities; conducting client and internal team meetings; adherence to timelines and budgets as well as observation of legal and business constraints. TRANSLATION: While saying “We’d be happy to deliver that in half the time for a discounted rate” is a great way to get through a meeting, it’s a lousy way to do business. So, you’ll be keeping customers happy – even when the bill comes – but not selling us up the proverbial river. If you’ve done this before, you’ll be familiar with the dance steps.
Non-Star Trek-related job requirements:
Previous advertising agency experience: You’ve heard of “hitting the ground running?” This is more of a “hit the ground after being thrown from a fast-moving train” kind of thing. Which means we need to see actual ad agency experience on that resume of yours. It should also include interactive and social media experience. And a Bachelor’s degree if you have one.
The big finish:
You’ll buy drinks. Have them bought for you. You’ll schmooze. Cajole. Persuade. Threaten. Laugh. Cry. Work your ass off. And sometimes, fail abjectly. You’ll be proud of the work you do. And at the end of each day, if you need a shower, it’ll be because your deodorant let you down, not your co-workers. Sound good? Show us what you’ve got. Even if it’s a blue, sparkly muu-muu.
Respond here: email@example.com