March 15th, 2013

Mortar Wins an Addy; Receives Awkward Paperweight.

What’s that you say? Our work for Carondelet Health Network won a Gold Addy in the Out-of-Home category? Well, sheesh. We don’t know what to say. Besides a happy, humble thank you. Thank you for this irregularly shaped hunk of Plexiglas that we can’t possibly share among the 17 of us who worked on the campaign. Thank you for filling Jenni and Jonny’s stomachs with free-flowing whiskey, gin, and meatballs at the awards gala. Without your help, there’s no way we could have sat still during that 1.5-hour PowerPoint in a dark room.

45 agencies and individuals submitted nearly 300 entries in this year’s San Francisco competition, and 20 Golds were awarded. We saw a lotta good work in that presentation (though we probably didn’t need to see it three times). Our heartfelt congratulations to all the winners.

Our client Nick at Carondelet was so excited to hear the news, he jumped up and hit “Purchase” on the order of Handerpants that had been idling in his shopping cart for weeks.

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Truthfully, we have no idea why Nick bought these. Unless you’re a baby octopus, or you want to draw attention by, say, being featured on your agency’s blog, we can’t think of one defensible reason for purchasing this product. We hope you’re happy, Knickerpants.

Beeteedubs: What kind of bully came up with the name “Addy”? Is that a cruel joke, giving people awards while simultaneously implying that their ads are small, inferior, or (God forbid) adorable? Ohh, look at the cute little Addy! Aren’t you a good boy?  

Just kidding. We’re beaming, on the inside and out.

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Jenni, Jonny, and Awards Night Emcee. Remember when Jonny was just an overworked, underappreciated intern whom we almost kicked out onto the streets? It’s hard to believe how far he’s come (not to mention what d-bags we were).

February 22nd, 2013

Nivea Stress Test Scares the Lederhosen Off Innocent Germans.

We all have fears that haunt us. Clowns. Public bathrooms. Jessica Chastain’s listless, creepy stare. (No? Is that last one just us?)

For clients, a common fear is doing an ad that’s too risky, daring, or controversial. But like we always say, unless you’re a city bus driver, you don’t get anywhere by playing it safe.

Nivea in Germany recently made a ballsy move that we quite enjoyed. To promote its Stress Protect deodorant, the brand concocted a “Stress Test” in which they essentially punk’d unknowing people at an airport. Through some careful planning and on-the-spot execution, Nivea made random people think they were being hunted down by the police. Stupid, right? Why the dickens would you believe that if you knew your record was 100% clean? Just watch.

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February 6th, 2013

Superbowl Ad Recap: Less Talking Animal, More Oil-Drenched Cookie.

For those of you who were face-deep in the guac during the commercials, enjoy our biased topline summary. For those of you who missed the game entirely, be glad your face muscles got to relax rather than violently cringe while watching the 49ers try to defend the pass. Any pass. Eesh. The 34-minute blackout was more fun to watch than that shoulda-been-a-comeback final play. It’s ok, though, because GIANTS. And now a message from our sponsors.

The ones that made us laugh:

Oreo, “Whisper Fight”

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February 4th, 2013

It’s All In the Family.

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If you could choose your own family, would you? Actually, don’t answer that. We don’t want any trouble. But chew on this: If you’re an entrepreneur, you kind of can choose your family. Not the kind who’ll lovingly change your putrid diapers,  but the kind who will unwaveringly support you and see the genius in your seemingly balderdashian ideas.

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February 4th, 2013

GGU Rules the Superbowl; Meets Dashon Goldson Along the Way.

There are some things that only happen once in a lifetime. Like a snowflake made of human skydivers. Or your hometown’s team making it to the Superbowl. With the San Francisco 49ers headed for football’s biggest night, Mortar’s media team knew this opportunity was rare. We also knew that Comcast Sportsnet Bay Area – the authority for 49ers coverage – was sending their entire team to broadcast live from New Orleans. Which made it the perfect opportunity for a local brand to reach a captive SF audience…

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