We all have fears that haunt us. Clowns. Public bathrooms. Jessica Chastain’s listless, creepy stare. (No? Is that last one just us?)

For clients, a common fear is doing an ad that’s too risky, daring, or controversial. But like we always say, unless you’re a city bus driver, you don’t get anywhere by playing it safe.

Nivea in Germany recently made a ballsy move that we quite enjoyed. To promote its Stress Protect deodorant, the brand concocted a “Stress Test” in which they essentially punk’d unknowing people at an airport. Through some careful planning and on-the-spot execution, Nivea made random people think they were being hunted down by the police. Stupid, right? Why the dickens would you believe that if you knew your record was 100% clean? Just watch.

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We’re not usually ones to brag, unless it’s to brandish the shiny pair of Ron Swanson-approved steak saws we got for Christmas. But now that 2012 is gone like Dick Cheney’s hair, we figured we should mention a couple things we won this year. Mortar scooped up two Silver Awards in the 2012 Davey Awards, the largest and most prestigious small agency competition. We owe the accolades to our integrated work for Carondelet Health Network and direct mail campaign for Marketo. Congratulations to our clients. Let the back-patting commence…now.

We’re delighted to point out we were far from the only winners this year.

Airport traveler Jonah Falcon won some serious ego points when his record-large man-parts earned him a frisking at SFO. Yes, that’s what we said.

Stoners rejoiced (if you can call it that) when Washington and Colorado legalized recreational pot. We’re sure the CEO of Totino’s is equally elated.

Massachusetts, Maine, and Washington declared same-sex marriage legal. For more and more people, love’s future is open wide.

(photo credit: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

And to put icing on the victory cake, our beloved Giants took the World Series for the second time in three years. Sadly, one Muni bus severely lost. For shame! When will we learn that “celebrate good times” is not synonymous with “destroy public property”? We all have aspirations of achieving such things; but then again, character demands restraint. And that is likely the only time you will hear us utter the word “restraint” in 2013.

Let’s start off with a shout out to all who serve:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD3cgDRsDck

“Today, a proud nation expresses our gratitude. But we do so mindful that no ceremony or parade, no hug or handshake is enough to truly honor that service. For that, we must do more. For that, we must commit—this day and every day—to serving you as well as you’ve served us.”
—President Obama

OK, tissues down.

Speaking of gratitude and those who’ve served with honor, what’s this?

A moving-in gift from Mortar alumni Will Kim? That is just so thoughtful and classy and awesome. Thanks, Will.

Which brings us to the big Veterans’ Day Mortarblog Tie-In. Ready?  In the military, success is about knowing the person next to you has your back. Same principle applies in the trenches of the Mortar. Always has. Always will. If you’re a veteran, talk to us. You may not have traditional experience. But you probably do have perspective we could desperately use.  Also: none of us know how to fire an actual mortar, which seems wrong.

As for the rest of you Mortar veterans, is this a cheap ploy to shame you into sending us spiritous liquors?
We think you know the answer to that.

Thank you to all who took our survey last month. We’re tickled to learn that some of you actually read (and even enjoy) the crap we write. You gave us some great feedback and ideas, and we’re gonna do our darnedest to incorporate them as we gallop down this golden, blogpost-covered road.

Massive congratulations to Deanna Flores, winner of the $50 Amazon gift card. We can’t wait to see what she buys with it. 25 chip clips? A gently used Chewbacca costume? The possibilities are, in a word, endless.