AWOOOOOOOO! Happy Halloween! Normally, we’d be in full Elitist Coastal Snob Mode this time of year, as we generally consider Halloween  – along with its yokel buddies New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day – to be a charter member of the Unholy Trinity of Amateur-Hour Holidays. But you know what? The Giants have us in an incredibly good mood right now and not just because the wind’s blowing this way from McCovey Cove. So allow us to amaze you as we turn a random, hastily-penned scribble wide-ranging and articulate knowledge download into a focused, must-read marketing missive. You won’t believe your eyes.

Remember this?

Yikes. Here’s hoping Mr. Bateman doesn’t get too upset when he sees the new logo and business cards we just released for online ad exchange AdBrite.

 

“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it…”

See how we did that? One minute, Halloween. The next minute, Random Movie Reference. Then…BAM! Work Stuff.  Office magic, people. Annnnd scene.

Ok, now on to the Actual Scary Things:

WARNING: Watching This Video In Its Entirety May Cause Violent Diarrhea And/Or The Condition Known As “Death By Embarassment.”

We’re not kidding. We only made it through the first 0:48. Really. Seriously.
We are so not kidding.

Oops. They pulled it. To be fair, it was supposed to be for an internal talent show. (They have that kind of budget for internal talent shows? That kind of profligacy is…scary! Awooooooo!)

 

Quick, Scoob! L-l-let’s get out of here!

Ahhhh. That’s better. You can always depend on the classics.
Speaking of which, it’s time for…Mortar Halloween Jukebox – iMeem Went Out Of Business Because The Economy Is So Scary-Edition!

No audio jukebox this year. And not as many songs. But you do get video, so there’s that.

 

DAVID/MARK/TODD: “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” –  Bauhaus.

Remember this from The Hunger? We’re not sure which is scarier – the atmosphere of vampiric menace, or the 80’s hair. Either way….awesomely scary.

SOPHIE: “Two of Hearts” – Stacy Q

We know. We know. But stay with us. This hilarious-yet-creepy scene is from Party Monster, an underrated yet highly scary flick. We’ve got chills just thinking about it.

SERENE: “Ghostbusters” – Ray Parker, Jr.

Wait a minute. Something’s wrong. This is a song from the 80’s. And everyone knows Serene’s musical tastes are permanently stuck in the 90’s. Which means…that’s not the real Serene! And she’s calling from inside the house!

 

HUGH – is about to rip the rubber mask off of what is obviously Pirate-Ghost Serene. Will need to gather strength first. Fortunately, there is “The Crusher” – The Novas.

And finally, a little Halloween treat from our favorite non-sparkle-vampire, Count Floyd.

 

Owooooo! Have fun out there. And GO GIANTS!!!